


Fifth Year

by littlebark



Series: The Path Less Traveled On [10]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, basically the whole Weasley Clan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2018-11-19 13:15:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11314155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebark/pseuds/littlebark
Summary: Fifth Year has come and with it new dangers. Voldemort has returned and yet that's not all Karina Black has to worry about. Being thrown into the family name she's come to embrace, she must decide which parts are worth hanging onto without losing herself in the process.





	1. Chapter 1

Sirius Black looked around the kitchen he thought he'd never see again. He was inside the home he'd left as a teenager, when his family’s views had pushed him out the door and onto his own path. He'd failed his mother, in her eyes. He'd failed his brother, and he felt that failure even now. 

But he had told himself it was alright, as long as he kept his family safe.

He’d failed them too. 

“She's being brought directly here, Padfoot.”

Remus Lupin walked into the kitchen, bringing with him a calming sense that only he could. He looked tired and pale, and he did quick math in his head. The full moon’s cycles governed Remus’ life. “Alright,” said Sirius stiffly as he looked around the kitchen in disdain. “I hate it here. I never wanted her to see this place.”

As he often did in life distressing situations, Remus went to the kettle and heated up water for tea. “You're a different person than you were when you left,” he reminded Sirius as he rummaged for cups. “And Kari is special. Much more mature than you were at her age. She needs you, Sirius.”

The thought suddenly terrified him. He'd missed years of her life and suddenly she was being thrown into his. The past year he'd been there to support her and Harry emotionally through letters, and now he'd have to face her every day while he wrestled with his own demons. His innocent, sweet daughter would see a side of him he had never hoped she'd see. He could only hope not to lose her in the process. “Who's bringing her?”

“Tonks.” At Sirius’ surprised expression, Remus smiled. “They get along splendidly. Tonks was the one who took her to the train station her first year.”

He should have been there for that. So should have her mother, his wife. 

They had both been out of reach - he in Azkaban and she dead. 

As if he knew where his thoughts had wandered, Remus hesitated before saying, “she'll find out sooner rather than later. You know this war will stir up the past.”

Sirius looked up sharply at Remus. “She's only fifteen.”

Remus chuckled. “She's never  _ just _ been anything. Give your daughter some credit. She's a brilliant witch. And she has the right to know about her mother.”

“She'll hate her.” The very idea twisted his insides as he thought of Tori during her last moments, her beautiful blue eyes filled with love as she gazed upon her daughter. An infant whom Sirius had not known for too long had taken the life of the woman who he'd loved for a decade. That's how he'd seen it, back then. Back then the grief had swallowed him whole, a greedy monster that dug its talons into his battered heart and refused to let go. 

It had taken being in Azkaban for some time for Sirius to come to peace with Tori Lowry-Black’s decision, to come to love a daughter he thought forever lost to him. Tori’s unconditional love for Kari had kept Sirius sane, and if the thought of killing Pettigrew gave him a purpose, the love the he had felt for his daughter had given him life.

She didn't know it, but Kari had kept him alive. Even knowing that she thought the worst of him, knowing so very little of a child he had helped create, he imagined her every day. What she looked like, who she took after, what her soul was like.

When he met her, that first time as he stood in front of the Fat Lady and she had been ready to jinx him into the next universe, he knew every thought and daydream of his daughter was a pale imitation of the real thing. She may have looked liked him, so very much like him, but without even knowing it, she was all Tori. Her bravery and strength that night had shaken him to his core and after he had escaped, he had relived every second of their meeting, and fallen more and more in love with her.

Even knowing she had wanted him dead that year, he could not help loving her. He knew that Tori had made the right choice, that he'd have made the same one if it meant keeping that fiery spirit of a child alive. 

Remus set a cup of tea on the counter and motioned to Sirius. “Perhaps. She'll be upset. Kari idolizes Tori, she looks up to her. This will shake her foundation once more.”

“She shouldn't… Tori did it for the greater good.”

“That's hard to accept when you find out that the parent you thought was your idol is no saint,” said Remus softly. “She'll understand someday. She's entitled to her anger and grief. She'll come out stronger for it.”

“How can you be so sure?” Sirius asked gruffly.

Remus smiled at his friend, wishing he had words of wisdom to sooth the battle in his soul. Instead he shrugged easily and merely said, “she's your daughter.”

*

“Blimey, but you keep on looking like him, don't you?”

Karina Black looked up sharply as she stepped into the Leaky Cauldron, her face splitting into a delighted smile. “TONKS!”

Nymphadora Tonks, her cousin who knew how many times removed, waved at her as she approached. She threw her arms around Kari, laughing in delight as the young girl squealed. “You were just a tiny thing when I first left you. Quit growing!”

Her laughter was infectious. “What are you doing here?”

“Got tired of getting letters with odd requests, didn't I? Reckoned I’d come along and bring you home myself to ask you all sorts of questions that you don't want to answer.”

It was a simple enough answer, easily said. It had Kari’s guard up instantly. Keeping a smile on her face while her mind worked to keep up with this new development, she cocked an eyebrow. “My dad will be happy to see you, when he gets here from Canada. It's a long flight, and he was delayed. Some shoot or gig or something. He took a liking to you, last he saw you.”

“It's my charm,” said Tonks with a shrug. “Been in touch with him, actually. Nice bloke, Keith. I was in town and reckoned I could mill about with my favourite cousin. I actually have a place, if you want to get packed up-”

The recent events of the last year - Harry being entered in the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Cedric Diggory murdered, Voldemort coming back - were still in her mind, the deceit of someone else her friends had trusted had opened Kari’s eyes. With stubbornness only a fifteen year old girl can muster, Kari narrowed her eyes and simply said, “no, thanks. I think I'll wait for my Dad here.”

The smile slid off Tonks’ face slightly. “I can't explain-”

“Then I'm not going.”

“Merlin’s tits, give me strength. I can't explain  _ here _ .” Tonks’ said in a low whisper as she glanced about the tavern. “It's not safe here, and I need to get you to the safe house.”

Kari’s eyes swept the room, and satisfied that it wasn't Voldemort sipping broth in the corner, she shrugged again. “No one has told me-”

“Owls aren't safe. Kari-”

“What,” said Kari smoothly as she looked up into Tonks’ confused eyes, “did you do before you and Dad dropped me off at King’s Cross?”

“Changed myself to look more like you,” answered Tonks swiftly with a sigh of relief. “My pink hair would've made you stand out on a day you needed to blend in. I wanted your happiness. It's all I want now.”

Oddly touched, Kari smiled. “I had to make sure. With everything…”

“You don't have to explain.” Placing a hand on her shoulder, Tonks gave her a shake. “Bloody proud of you, though. Refusing to go without proof. Proud and a little annoyed. Can't believe you didn't blindly trust your family.”

“Have you forgotten who some of them are?” Kari asked grimly. “Come on. Help me pack. The sooner we get out of here, the better.”

It took them longer than Tonks’ had anticipated, if how often she looked at her watch was any indication. Kari stuffed the last of her books in her trunk with a grunt before walking over to her owl, Hermes. “How are we getting there? He can't apparate, can he?”

“No. Well, I mean… he could, technically. He'd just be really unhappy about it. No need to put him through that,” said Tonks in her rambly sort of way as she flipped through Kari’s muggle teen magazine and snorted at one of the articles. “I'll drive us.”

She stared at her a beat before letting out a baffled laugh. “I'm sorry, I thought you said  _ you  _ were driving us?”

Tonks sent her a sideways glance, a grin on her face. “Well you definitely haven't gone deaf then, that's good. Let's go.”

Kari scrambled after her as Tonks dragged her trunk. Swinging her book bag over one shoulder and grabbing Hermes’ cage, Kari spluttered, “I’d actually like to get to wherever we're going  _ alive _ , you know. Why can't we-”

Tonks stopped abruptly, her face somber. “I want to answer all your questions. I do. But  _ it's not safe here.  _ Do you understand?”

Dread filled her stomach. Already everyone was plotting behind closed doors and whispering secrets. She'd only just arrived from Hogwarts hours ago, had planned to go wander into Diagon Alley and all it's usual - and unusual- spots for information. Her father wasn't supposed to be here for another two days and she'd hoped to learn what those in Knockturn Alley were whispering about behind closed doors. Kari nodded her understanding and followed Tonks out of the building, helping her stuff her trunk in the boot of the car and making sure Hermes’ was settled in the backseat. 

They rode in silence, and after several close calls with pedestrians, Kari simply closed her eyes and fell asleep. She woke to Tonks’ softly calling her name, shaking her shoulder. Her eyes sprung open as her mind struggled to make sense of where they were. “How many muggles did you hit?” 

Tonks laughed. “They all survived, though I may have taken a couple years off their lives. Go on, get your owl. I've got your trunk.” 

Kari did as she was told while her mind raced. The neighborhood was  _ awful _ . Nothing like the tidy houses in residential districts she'd seen with her father the first time they'd come to England, before her first year had started. A million years ago, that summer seemed now. No, these houses were not welcoming, they looked grimy and unkempt. For a wild second she doubted herself, wondered if she'd fallen for a trap and was about to be led to her death. Tonks closed the boot of the car and sent her a quizzical look. “Alright, Kari?”

She released the breath she'd been holding, her stomach unclenching. Kari nodded once, gripping Hermes’ cage tightly as she calculated how fast she could safely put him out of harm's way and whip out her wand if needed. Tonks marched on ahead, leaving the car behind until she reached the outside of a house and dug into her pocket.

Before she could think about what she was doing, Kari placed Hermes’ on the ground and plunged her hand into her coat, gripping her wand. She held her breath, waited a beat before glancing around the houses. No one was watching, there was loud yelling coming from a couple houses down as a couple screeched their anger at each other. Her heart pounded in her chest wildly. 

“Kari,” Tonks called softly. “You need to read this.”

_ It's a trap. It's a trick. Don't, don't, don't. _

These thoughts galloped through her mind, leaving her paralyzed.

_ Darling, you need to read that. Your father is waiting. _

_ Mum. _ Kari glanced around, a mixture of panic and relief flooding her.  _ I can't. _

_ You can. You have to. Kari, trust me. _

She did, without question. Kari walked over to Tonks, grabbing the note from her hand. “Read it to yourself. Memorize it. You'll need it.” Tonks said quickly as she cast a glance around the street.

_ The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London. _

She recognized the handwriting as Dumbledore’s immediately. The question formed in her mind and she held it back as she remembered that they were still not safe. Kari glanced at number eleven and number thirteen, and thought it was rather odd that Tonks had brought her somewhere that held no number twelve. 

As soon as that thought crossed her mind, the building she assumed was number twelve squeezed itself between eleven and thirteen. No one came running out, there was no panic. Her interest quipped, Kari followed Tonks in, holding onto Hermes again. Tonks rapped her wand on the door and Kari heard mechanic sounding locks grind together before opening. “Keep quiet,” whispered Tonks as she set her trunk down. “And there should be… ah, yes there he-”

But she never got to finish her sentence. “Remus!” Kari breathed happily as she rushed forward, placing Hermes on top of her trunk with less care than usual. She barreled into his arms, breathing in deeply as she finally felt safe. “What  _ is _ this place?”

“Nice to see you too, Moonshine.” Remus replied with a laugh. “You look well.”

She had the grace to blush. “Sorry. It'd been an odd day. I thought I'd be going home to some normalcy before we getting right into the nitty gritty of war.”

“Hope you're not disappointed,” said a familiar voice. “Dumbledore reckoned it was unsafe to travel that far on your own just now.” 

Kari looked over Remus’ shoulder, looking into the eyes of her biological father, the man she thought murdered for most of her life before she learned the truth. Remus released her, and she moved to him. “Sirius,” her voice was a bit choked as he wrapped her in a hug. “I'm so happy to see you.”

Sirius let out a chuckle. “As am I. I suppose you have questions.”

“Only several hundred,” Kari said with a laugh. 

“Let's head to the kitchen,” said Remus easily.

Tonks cleared her throat. “I'll be off. Gotta go return that car and finish scouting. Remus. Sirius.”

Kari twisted back to look at her. “Tonks. Thank you. And sorry. I didn't mean to be such a pain-”

“Don't worry about it. I'd rather you question everything that blindly trust anything anyone says,” said Tonks with a grin. 

Remus smiled. “That's brilliant advice to give a teenager prone to being curious.”

“Can't be helped,” said Sirius as he waved goodbye to Tonks. “She  _ is _ my daughter. Kari, keep quiet through here would you?”

Kari thought to ask why but didn't. She followed Remus and Sirius down the corridor, finally taking a second to take in her surroundings.

She was  _ horrified.  _ Mounted on the walls were what she could only guess were house-elf heads. The whole house had the aura of Dark Wizards and the decor supported it. What little hope she'd had that it'd be less dire in the kitchen quickly evaporated. 

“Where  _ are _ we?” Kari asked as she settled herself on one of the chairs. 

Sirius sent Remus a look, who was busy bringing mugs out. “This is my parents’ house,” he said darkly.

“Your  _ parents’ _ house?” Kari’s jaw dropped.  _ Her grandparents.  _ For years she'd searched for information on her family, had come up with unpleasantness. From the look of the house, she hadn't been off the mark. 

“I'm the last Black,” said Sirius simply before he grinned. “Well. We are. And since I'm still kicking around, it's still mine. Offered it to Dumbledore as a headquarter for the Order.”

“Of the Phoenix, yeah. What  _ is _ it?” 

“We were around last time You-Know-Who was around,” said Remus as he set a cup of tea in front of Sirius and coffee for Kari. “A secret society to fight him, to do whatever needed to be done to end him.”

“It was bad, last time around.” Kari said softly as she thought the history books she'd read, of the scar on Harry’s forehead. Of her mother and his parents gone.

Sirius shrugged. “We did what we had to and gave all we could. Some more than others.”

“Dumbledore is in charge,” said Kari quickly. 

“Yes. We have several members, all with different orders.” Remus answered. “Are you hungry? I can whip some food up.”

Kari sent him a grin, knowing he was looking to change the subject. “Maybe later. What do you two do?”

“I told you,” said Sirius bitterly. “I provided this house.” 

Before Kari could reply, Remus smiled at her. “I do what I did last time. Scouting to see which way the werewolves will go.”

Her eyes went wide. “Moony,  _ no.  _ That's far too dangerous, they could-”

“I know.” He cut her off quickly. “And I'll be careful. But it's intel we need.”

Not at all reassured, Kari turned to Sirius who was staring at his tea moodily. “Wormtail gave away your disguise, didn't he?”

Sirius glanced at her and shrugged. “It's possible. Dumbledore seems to think so. It's why he doesn't want me out there. Never mind that I'm a convicted murderer, my only way to remain hidden was taken away.”

_ Ah. _ Kari thought as she sipped at her coffee. Never one to hold back from danger, this situation was sure to drive him insane. “Well, what do you have to do to join?”

Remus blinked at her. “Join?”

With a roll of her eyes, Kari said, “the Order, of course. I want in. I can help.”

“Kari,  _ no _ . Sirius, stop grinning. It's dangerous-”

“Course it is,” snapped Sirius. “It's all dangerous, there's no safe place.”

“ _ Hogwarts _ is safe. She can't very well join the Order, she's only fifteen-”

“She's never  _ just _ anything,” said Sirius, looking smug. 

Remus send him a dark look before focusing on Kari. “Listen to me. We don't know the extent of his power, not yet. I want you to stay put and help around here, that's how you can contribute. It's not like you can join, anyways. You're not of age.”

“What, Dumbledore can't bend the rules?” She scoffed. “It's not like I'm helpless, I'll have you know.”

“ _Sirius_!” Remus snapped desperately.

Her father held Remus' narrowed eyes before sighing. “I could use help around here, he's right. This house is full of… oddities. My parents were big into Dark Arts and we have to make it habitable before they all get here.”

“Who all get here?” Kari asked, forgetting herself.

Remus relaxed visibly. “The Weasleys’ are moving in for a bit, the whole lot of them. We’ll have meetings going on and the safer we can make this place, the better. You're brilliant with spells, I reckoned you could help Sirius.”

“It's not like the bloody house elf has been of any help,” murmured Sirius with a roll of his eyes.

At this Kari turned her attention back to her father. “We have a  _ house elf _ ?” She groaned as she dug her head in her hands. She could hear Hermione’s shrill opinion already.

“Came with the house,” Sirius said with a grunt. “He's ours.”

Kari raised an eyebrow. “If he's ours -ugh. Sorry. What an awful sentence. Why can't we ask for his help cleaning?”

“Because he's mad,” snapped Sirius.

Her eyes narrowed. “I'm sure that's not true-”

“Who is this then, another Mudblood, come to soil the good House of Black?”

Sirius stood up abruptly, his gaze fixed behind her. “Kreacher, watch your-”

“Sirius!” Kari said sharply as she stood with much more elegance than he had. She turned around and looked down at the house elf lingering at the door. He was an ancient house elf, his back hunched over with a snout like nose and white hair protruding from his ears. With her father breathing heavily behind her, she crossed the room and ignored Remus’ soft warning. “Hello,” she said softly as she crouched down to see him at eye level. He sent her a distrustful glare, his bloodshot eyes going back and forth between her and Sirius. She forced herself to relax and give him a small smile. “I'm Karina Black.” 

Kreacher paused at that. “You are  _ his _ daughter.”

“I am. My mother was Victoria Lowry.” Kari held out her hand, watching as he looked down at it. “I'm a pureblood,” she added helpfully. 

“That  _ shouldn't matter _ -” Sirius hissed angrily. 

Kari shot a glare over her shoulder. 

The house elf shook her hand slowly. His hands felt dry and papery. “You are the Mistress of this house.”

She tilted her head as she considered this new development. “Yes,” she said with a small laugh. “I suppose I am. I haven't seen much of it. Perhaps you can show me around? I don't know where I'm to sleep.”

“There's a room upstairs waiting for you,” said Remus quickly. “We tried cleaning it best we could-”

“I can help the Mistress with that,” Kreacher said softly.

Behind her, she heard Sirius mutter an oath. Kari beamed at Kreacher, ignoring her father. “That would be lovely, Kreacher. Thank you. Give me a second.”

She walked back and drank the last of her coffee, eyeing her father curiously. “A little bit of kindness goes a long way,” she breathed as she patted his hand. “Cheer up, Padfoot. We’ll have fun, you and I.” 

His stormy eyes looked at the house elf angrily. “If I hear he's been a hag-”

“Stop.” Stunned at his behavior, she found herself snapping at him. Looking furious, Sirius pushed from the table, walked past Kreacher and up the stairs. Kari stared after him, confused and hurt.

Remus let out a sigh. “Being back here and not being able to be out there… it's hard on Sirius. He did not have a good time as a child and a teenager here.”

“It was his own doing, the nasty blood traitor. He broke my Mistress’ heart.”

“Yes,” said Remus sharply. “Thank you for that, Kreacher.”

“His mother,” Kari breathed as she imagined Sirius growing up in a home where they revered their blood status. She herself didn't much think of her blood as a reason for superiority but did find her family lineage and history fascinating, if in a dark sort of sense. She knew it went back ages, and the traditions and customs were unknown to her. If they were the last Blacks, they could shape their lives and their name for the better. 

Kreacher nodded, glancing upstairs as if he expected her to come the stairs. “When he left and rejected his name, the ungrateful brat, she swore he was no son of hers.”

“Then why did he get the house and everything in it?” 

“A family as old and powerful as the Black one is has certain traditions and expectations. Ones that can't be broken as easily as say, a Muggle will, where if you're disinherited they can just write you off. Magic and blood binds Sirius - and you- to this family.” Remus stood, glancing at his watch. “I'm going to tidy up here. Will you go with Kreacher and find your room?”

Kari smiled at Remus. “You'll come say goodbye to me before you take off, won't you?”

He seemed surprised by her request. “I- yes. Of course, Moonshine. Now go on.”

She walked over to Kreacher, who shuffled ahead of her. She listened to his tour of the house as they wound their way upstairs, not agreeing with the way the house had been run prior to their arrival but determined to start improving it. Not long ago she'd longed for more knowledge on her family and her background and now that gift had been dropped in her lap.

Kreacher opened the doors to a huge room, a giant four poster bed pressed up against one of the walls and a Victorian looking dresser and vanity mirror propped up against the other. Under the window, was a reading bench and her trunk had already been brought up, she assumed by Sirius. Hermes hooted happily in the corner. The decor left something to be desired but the room was gorgeous in an old timey kind of way. It was mostly black and green, she noticed and wondered who the previous occupant had been. “It's lovely,” she said to Kreacher. “Is this my room then?” 

“Master has given you the lady’s chamber,” Kreacher said he walked around the room, inspecting various items. “Will this suffice?”

“Of course,” Kari said quickly. “Sirius mentioned something about making this house more hospitable. I'd like to start with my room, since I'm bound to spend quite a bit of time in here. I love to read, and would like a bookcase and-”

Kreacher was studying her curiously. “You would change this room?”

She turned her attention back to him. From what little she knew of the house elf, he was very loyal to the Black name. Would changing it offend him? “I only thought, since this is my home now, that perhaps I could change the colouring in here a tad. Maybe later on, I meant no-”

He shook his head vigorously. “You misunderstand. There are many things that have not been changed, this room being one of them. It is yours, Mistress.”

Confused, she bit her lip. “So it'd be alright if I did?”

Shrugged, he said, “if this is your wish, I can help.”

Kari let out a laugh. “I'll keep that in mind. Thank you Kreacher. Truly. I would love a more thorough tour of the house. Later. I'm feeling a bit tired.”

“Would Mistress require anything else?”

Smiling warmly at him, she shook her head. “No. Thank you. I'll see you in a little bit.”

He left her to her thoughts, and as she climbed into bed and tried to ignore the smell of dust that had sunk into the sheets, her mind worked to find a way to make this unexpected gift work to their advantage.


	2. Chapter 2

The days began to blur together as Kari worked by Sirius’ side day in and day out, ridding the house of Dark objects. She'd broken up several fights between Sirius and Kreacher - they'd clear a room and later find him rummaging through the boxes, looking for things to bring back to his den.

 “He's just lonely!” Kari snapped as she stood in front of him one afternoon. “He's been locked up here all this time, guarding the house.”

“A piss poor job he's done of it!” Sirius hurled back with bared teeth. “Look at the state of this place.”

“Good thing for you, otherwise you'd have nothing to do!” She hissed angrily, instantly regretting the words at the wounded look on Sirius’ face. “I didn't mean-" 

“You're right, of course.” He said it mockingly, and whatever apology she was about to utter died on her lips. “What could I possibly offer to you lot now?” 

“Useless, wasted-”

Kari stepped forward before Sirius could lunge at the house elf. “Kreacher, that's _enough._ Sirius, take a walk. _Inside._ We’ll finish up here.” 

Her father shot her a withering glare before stalking off, leaving her baffled. This was a side of Sirius she'd not yet seen and was not sure she cared for or could handle. She was used to his endless pride and reassurance but this shell of himself was new territory. With a sigh, she turned back to Kreacher who had the decency to look somewhat sheepish as he scuffed his foot on the floor. “I know it's hard for you,” she said softly through clenched teeth. “But it's hard for him too. He doesn't want to be here.”

“Then he should leave. My Mistress- oh she would turn in her grave if she knew what you were doing to her home.”

Kari dragged a hand through her hair. “It's not safe for humans, Kreacher. Especially not ones who could accidentally touch something and be cursed. I'm not saying Grandmother wasn't right to buy all of this-”

“It was not _bought_ ,” spat Kreacher, looking up at her reproachfully. “The things in this home are part of Black history. Decades of history and _he_ just wants to throw the lot of it out like common junk!”

At her wit’s end, she gestured around the room and asked, “what would you do with it? It can't stay here, Kreacher. It just can't. I'm a Black, I'm curious to learn more about what that means and I know it's hard but we have to find a compromise.”

He looked torn, before muttering darkly. “It could stay with me, in my den. I could keep some of it. Until you're ready to learn.”

It seemed like a good comprise, one she wasn't sure Sirius would agree to. “Take _one_ thing from that box. It's yours. The rest, for now, stays boxed up.” 

He muttered something under his breath and Kari didn't have the energy to ask him what he'd said. She made her way upstairs, grabbing some of the books she'd found in a trunk (and had told Sirius she was going to chuck) before making her way carefully and quietly up the stairs, past her Grandmother’s portrait.  

She glanced down the hall, where her father was no doubt pacing. Leaving the books in her room, she walked over and took a deep breath. “Sirius?” Kari knocked once before pushing the door open, bowing her head at Buckbeak. Why he kept him in his room was beyond her. “I'm turning in for the night. Would you like me to ask Kreacher to make you some dinner before I do? I'm not particularly hungry.”

He was laying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with an intensity she found impressive. “No. Goodnight.” 

Unsure of herself around this version of her father, she hesitated before she asked, “is it truly so terrible, being back here?”

“I left at seventeen and told myself I would never look back. I had a future, a wife. One of those things, my mother didn't approve of. I fought against my love for Tori because I didn't want to give my mother the satisfaction of seeing me with a pureblood.” The words poured out of him in an angry rush. “In the end, it didn't matter. I loved Tori with everything, I had what I wanted and I was never going to come back to this hell.”

“She's not here anymore, Padfoot.” Kari breathed as she crossed the room and sat on the bed. “Whatever it was like back then, she can't push that nonsense down your throat.”

Sirius turned his face to her. “You haven't explored the whole house, have you?”

“No,” she admitted.

“You'll see,” he said softly. “You had an uncle, you know. Two, actually. Tori was a twin and I had a younger brother. He was the perfect Black. He was everything my mother wanted in a son.”

“He sounds awful.” Kari smiled.

He shrugged. “I thought so. And I was wrong.”

Knowing she'd get nowhere tonight, she gave him a small smile. “I don't think so. You’re Sirius Black, last son of House Black. That's gotta count for something.”

“Yeah,” he scoffed. “That I haven't had the good sense to toss it in.” 

Because there was a war on the horizon, the thought sent shivers down her spine. “Don't even joke about that,” Kari whispered. “You may think your life is piss poor right now, but I need you. Harry needs you. And you're no help to us if you're dead.” When he didn't say anything, she rose with a sigh and bid him goodnight.  

Once in her room, she settled in on the bed (Kreacher had been kind enough to clean it up so she no longer inhaled moth balls as she slept) and began reading a book on advanced spells she'd found earlier. Most of them were Dark Magic and she knew she'd be hard pressed to use them but she also knew that war was just around the corner and she may have need of them.

She glanced at the clock on the wall, figured she had a couple hours before Sirius fell asleep. Dumbledore hadn't been by yet, and Remus would be gone till tomorrow.

If she was going to sneak out and back to the Leaky Cauldron, she'd have to do it tonight.

The clock chimed once… twice… Kari counted each resounding bong, deciding right then and there that her next task would be to make that thing less loud. Once it reached twelve, she grabbed her cloak, stashed her wand in its pocket and opened the door quietly. She listened for the sound of Sirius’ snores, grinning as it reached her ears. Taking care to move down the stairs even more quietly than usual, she grabbed her pouch of gold and shoved in her jeans.

She was pleased with herself, knew that all her sneaking about at Hogwarts was paying off. The very idea that she had out sneaked the Master Sneaker had her light headed. 

“Mistress is going out.” 

 _Fuck._ Kari froze, her hand on the doorknob. Only the door stood in her way between herself and freedom.

Well. The door and a very somber looking house elf, Kari thought as she groaned inwardly, turning to look at Kreacher. Her eyes flicked upstairs, wondering if he'd run to Sirius. 

Unlikely, if she played her cards right. 

“Just for a bit,” she admitted, knowing that lying was not the way to get him on her side. “I'll be back before he wakes.” 

Kreacher peered at her curiously. “Master is to be non the wiser?” 

“If at all possible,” Kari said with a quick smile. “They'll worry about me being alone but it's not exactly like he can take me anywhere. Not anywhere I need to go anyways.” 

He wrung his hands, but he didn't seem to be doing it out of nerves like Dobby did. No, he seemed to be holding something back, wishing he could say something but believing that she was above him and deserved discretion. 

She hated that he felt that way. Because she intended on running the House of Black _very_ differently, she crouched down and waited for him to look at her. “Kreacher, if there's something you'd like to tell me, I'd prefer you did. Do you not want me to go out?” 

“Mistress does not need _my_ permission,” he said quickly, giving her a distasteful glare.

Kari couldn't hold back the gentle smile. “Considering I'm not even bothering getting my own father’s permission, no, I suppose I don't need yours either. Good thing I wasn't asking for it. I'm asking for your opinion.” 

His eyes widened at that before narrowing. “It is unnecessary.” 

She shrugged. “I'm bright but I tend to get tunnel vision when I chase something I’m after. Your perspective might give me insight into something I've missed.”

Silence spanned between them. Finally he lifted his eyes to look at her and said, “blood traitors and filth come into this house, preparing for war. Being cautious. Being sneaky. And Mistress wishes to go out, where it's not safe. This family’s line ends with you, Mistress.” 

“Careful, Kreacher,” she warned playfully, ignoring the hateful way he spat names for her friends. “That almost sounds like you care.” At his scoff, she laughed softly. “I know. I know it's dangerous. But they're treating me like a child that can't defend herself, one that can't handle the truth. If they're going to delegate me to cleaning during the day, I'm going to get information my way. I just need to set up my contacts and gather intel on my own. I'm not rushing into danger. Promise. And I have a feeling if I do need it, I can call on you for help. Can't I?” 

“I live to serve the House of Black,” he murmured.

Kari sighed. “Not exactly what I meant but I'll take it. You're going to like me eventually, you know. I can be awfully stubborn.”  

He opened his mouth to reply but seemed to think better of it. “I'll keep watch over Master, in case he wakes.”

“I shouldn't be too long,” she breathed a sigh of relief. “Kreacher… thank you. For your thoughts.” 

Before he could tell her once again that he lived to serve, she rushed into the night and set off.

*

“Kari, dear!” 

At the sound of her name, she started before yelping as she lifted her head too quickly and hit her head on the sink pipes. She'd been working on improving the water pressure, was currently laying on her side under the sink fiddling with it. “Kreacher,” she croaked as she flailed her hand desperately. “A little help pulling me up?” 

“I got you,” said the familiar voice of George Weasley, deeper than it had been several weeks ago when they last saw each other. He pulled her out and up with ease, laughing at the bit of grime on her nose. “Well aren't you full of surprises?” 

“I do try,” she said as she rubbed the spot on her head that sang with pain. “I didn't reckon you lot were getting here until later.”

“Change of plans,” said Mrs. Weasley before rushing forward to give her a hug. “How have you been?” 

Behind her she could hear Kreacher muttering under his breath. She shot him a warning look before turning back to Mrs. Weasley. “Well, I'm down here and Sirius is two floors up so…”

Mrs. Weasley’s face turned sympathetic. “Yes. Dumbledore told us that he'd been feeling…” 

“Sorry for himself? Wallowing in self pity? Completely irritable?” Kari supplied helpfully with a bark of laughter. “It's been a tough week.”

“Well. Perhaps that'll change,” Mrs. Weasley said as she gestured for George to set a basket of food on the table. “First Order meeting will be today, some of the members will be coming by here in awhile.”

Kari grunted. Somehow she doubted hearing others putting themselves in danger while he scrubbed a house clean would make Sirius feel better. “Where are the others?”

“Getting settled,” said George. “Sirius met us at the stairs, told us you were down here.” 

“And you just couldn't wait to see me. I'm flattered.” Kari grinned. 

She didn't miss the way Mrs. Weasley looked between them, a knowing smile on her face as she busied herself with the basket. “Kari, is there anywhere we can put all this? We brought food and plates and some utensils from The Burrow, we weren't sure how much you had here.” 

“Make yourself at home,” Kari said quickly as Kreacher made an angry sound behind her. “We've put away almost all of the fancy tableware. Call me a snotty pureblood but I couldn't bear to use old heirloom plates to eat burnt toast on. Some of the cutlery is still about, I believe.” 

“Give me a tour of the house?” George asked with a lopsided grin. “Hog you a bit more before Hermione and Ron take your full attention.” 

Kari glanced at him. “Where's Harry?” 

Mrs. Weasley froze. “He's staying with the Muggles until his birthday.”

“ _Why?_ ” Kari asked her jaw dropped. “We're all here and he's miserable there.”

“Dumbledore's orders,” said George darkly. “Dad tried to ask about bringing him by sooner but he shot him down.”

Scowling, Kari crossed her arms. “Let me guess. Told him not to worry about it, it was part of the plan?”

“Something like that.”  

“That's ridiculous, I'll talk to him, he can't keep Harry away-”

Mrs. Weasley sighed. “You're welcome to try, dear. No chasing after him if that's what Dumbledore wants though. We will not have a repeat of the Ford Anglia incident, am I understood?” 

“Course not, Mum.” George said as he gave his mother a quick peck on the cheek. “We don't have another Ford Anglia to steal.”

Kari laughed before turning to Kreacher. “I'm going to go show George to his room. Can you finish clearing this up for me?” 

Kreacher nodded stiffly.  

She looked at him, reading his very aggressive body language. “I’d say be nice but I'm sure you're aware that the Weasleys are some of the biggest blood traitors - your words - around. So I'll say this: be polite. You don't have to make small talk but no cursing Mrs. Weasley, she's going to be making the meals. Won't you be glad to not have to do that anymore?” 

“I live to serve-” 

“I know, I know.” Kari groaned. She turned to Mrs. Weasley and shrugged. “I tried. He has his own den, he can go there once he's done in here if you don't need his help. I doubt he'll want to venture too much today with as many people as there.” 

“We’ll manage,” Mrs. Weasley said as she looked at Kreacher dubiously.

Before she could change her mind, she hooked her arm around George and led him upstairs, tiptoeing past the portraits. 

George grinned at her and said in an exaggerated whisper, “I suppose it wouldn't be a good idea to just bellow how much I missed you right now? What with the pictures of your dead and very angry ancestors around?” 

She stifled the laugh into a soft cough and looked up at him. He looked different, even having just been apart a couple of weeks. He was leaner and yet growing into muscles she hadn't noticed he'd had before. His face was more man than the youthful boy she'd met, and fallen so- 

Kari blinked twice, stopping that train of thought before it was truly formed. Whatever she'd felt for him before, what they'd shared as more than friends would have to be put on hold while there was a war going on. She couldn't risk holding on to someone she could lose or even worse, endanger their mission because of something as avoidable as love.

She hated herself for thinking that way. Her mother had managed to be with the idiot man child she'd loved and had a child with him. 

And then she'd gone off and died. 

There were a million things she admired about her mum, but she intended to do better than her in that department. 

“You want to wake up my disagreeable family, be my guest,” Kari said after a beat, an easy smile on her face. “But you'll be the one shutting them up after.”

“Pass.” George scrunched his nose in distaste. “Your family sounds awful."

“Come now. We’re not _all_ terrible.”

Kari looked away from George. Sirius stood at the bottom of the stairs, arms crossed as he looked at George up and down. His eyes resting for a second on his daughter’s hand linked around his arm. Beside her, she felt George stiffen for a second before relaxing and saying, “you must be the famous would-be mass murderer. You're right. Definitely not all terrible.” 

Sirius’ face split into a grin, the first genuine one she'd seen in days. A bit of resentment rose in her as she realized she'd not been able to do that for him. “You must be the other twin,” said Sirius with a chuckle, motioning up the stairs. “Everyone is either in the upstairs living room or putting their things away. Come on.”

She caught George looking around as they walked, surely taking in the decapitated and mounted heads of house elves. “Were definitely not at the Burrow anymore,” she breathed. 

“What, you mean we haven't shown your our room full of creepy heads? Odd. We have a ghoul. Do _you_ have a ghoul?” 

Kari snickered. “Haven't found one yet but honestly? At this point, it wouldn't surprise me if there were ghouls and all sorts of creepy shit. This house is weird.”

“What a relief to hear that you reckon it's ‘weird’,” said Sirius sarcastically. “With all the reading and interest you've been showing, I figured we'd lost you to the dark side.”

Rage coursed through her, quick and pure. “Being interested and wanting to learn about everything and anything doesn't automatically make me a Dark Wizard.” 

“Dunno. You're sure making friends with the House Elf and Merlin knows he's a gunner for all things Dark.”

Kari came to a stop, yanking George back suddenly. She unhooked her arm from him and let out a snort. “I've had it up to _here_ with your sunny disposition, Sirius. You help them get settled. You've been so eager to be _helpful_.”  

George couldn't help but gape at Kari as she turned on her heel and headed down the corridor on her own, taking the steps two at a time as if she couldn't get away from her father fast enough. He'd seen her angry and afraid and hurt but he had never seen her quite like this, not voluntarily spiteful and quick to hurt with her words.

Sirius too was staring after his daughter, a dark look on his face. “Not all terrible, then? You sure about that?” 

Without another word, he pushed into the room where he could see his siblings and Hermione in, leaving George to wonder how the atmosphere between the only living Blacks had turned sour so quickly.

*

It was nearly three in the morning when Kari started making her back to Grimmauld Place, her eyes heavy with sleep. She'd stayed out longer than she meant to, but had lost track of time as she weaved had her way in and out of London, going to places she'd never go to during the day time. She'd heard much and nothing at all, she'd have to think through her encounters and eavesdropping to decipher if her night time outing had been worth the risk.

She'd heard Voldemort’s name plenty but that wasn't surprising on its own. For all of the Daily Prophet’s campaign to smear Harry’s name and his declaration of Voldemort’s return, people still talked. People had gone missing, muggles and wizards alike, and it had the population worried. She'd heard new names too, codenames of people that brought fear.

This was only the beginning. That alone had her worried, though she didn't convey that in her letters home or to Harry. To her parents she lied and told them little, only that she'd see them soon. Kari wasn't a prisoner here and she would ask when she could go home, if only to say hello. To Harry she didn't lie, though she'd been instructed she couldn't talk to him about where she was or was with. She didn't consider lying that he thought she was back in Canada, and hadn't corrected him. Owls weren't safe and she knew how easily it would be to intercept one. 

At the end of the block was a telephone booth, and she stepped inside it, quickly casting a look about before depositing coins and dialing home. 

Her adoptive father’s voice had her heart melting, and she felt the tug of homesickness settle in the pit of her stomach. “Dad,” she breathed, hot tears coming to her eyes as she clutched the phone. 

She wasn't a prisoner here and yet she couldn't go home. Not yet.

“Mouse! Deidre, it's Kari.” Keith Moore cried ecstatically. On the other line, on the other side of the world, she heard her adoptive mother cry out in joy. “How are you? My, we miss you.”

“I miss you too,” she croaked, choking back a sob. These were her parents, ones that had raised her and loved her despite she not being theirs. This was the man who had kissed her scraped knees and made pillow fortresses when the thunder had scared her. He was nothing like the irritable, hateful, bitter man locked in a house, unable to see past his own feelings. “Both of you. I'm good, fine. How are you? Both of you?”

“Hold on- no, Deidre, not that button… there! Kari, can you still hear us?”

They'd put her on speaker, from the sounds of it. She wiped off her tears, a watery smile on her face. “Yes. Yes, I can hear you.”

“Sweetheart. Oh, my baby girl. It's so good hearing your voice,” Deidre crooned happily. “These silly time differences, I wish it weren't so early for you. I hate that you have to get up early just to call us.”

Kari shifted uncomfortably at the lie she had given them. They had believed her, of course they had. Why would they suspect that their daughter would sneak out at night in the underbelly of a city far from home? “I miss you,” she said softly. “I don't mind waking up early to talk to you. I can alway nap later.”

Keith laughed. “There's my daughter. Always has liked her naps. What have you been up to, Mouse?”

Her let out a half laugh, half sob. _Where to begin?_ She wondered. Should she start by telling them of her father, stuck in a house he hated? Or perhaps the secret club formed by the headmaster at her school, against the wishes of the Ministry, to combat one of the Darkest Wizards to ever live? If she truly wanted to upset them, all she needed to tell them was that she was out and about in the middle of the night while those taking care of her thought she was safe in bed. “Oh,” she said casually while her eyes followed a bloke crossing the street and got into his car. “Well. Sight seeing-”

_Not a complete lie, seeing as I have been visiting places I never would otherwise._

“And visiting friends. Thanks for letting me stay for a couple of weeks.”

“And your dad?” Keith asked softly while Deidre scoffed. “How's that going? You must be-”

A dangerous topic, if anyone was listening. “Everything is good,” she said quickly but a tad too cheerfully if silence that followed was any indication. She turned the conversation around and asked about his projects, about their son, about home. Listened to them tell her of the mountains and lakes and how the cold had come early the previous year but they'd managed.

Their chat wound down and with Kari promising to call more often, she hung up the phone and rested her head on the cold metal of the booth. She rubbed her tired eyes furiously, yawning widely as she stepped back out into the cold rain. It was late but Kreacher would no doubt be up, awaiting her return. If she asked politely, she might even get some food before she stumbled into bed.

Opening the front door carefully, she shook the rain from her hair, cringing as it splattered on the dark wood floor. Stifling a yawn, she turned into the living room and froze.

Sirius was standing there, with his arms crossed and a look of cold fury in his eyes, narrowing as he spotted her. Remus was sitting on the couch, his elbows rested on his knees while his hands covered his mouth in a praying position. Sitting directly across from Remus was Kreacher, looking between the two men angrily.

“Downstairs,” said Sirius in a soft dangerous tone as he pointed down the hallway. His voice jerked Remus from his trance and he looked up, his face lined with worry. “ _Now.”_  

Kari raised her chin, refusing to let the fear in her belly show on her face. Kreacher jumped off the couch, glaring at Sirius defiantly as he followed Kari down the stairs. With each step she felt a sense of foreboding down her spine as she heard Remus hissing at Sirius.

She was in for it.

The thought suddenly angered her.

Settling herself on a stool, she furrowed her brow. There was no way getting out of this, not that she could see.

“Do you understand,” Sirius asked quietly as he stepped into the kitchen, “that were in the middle of a war?”

“Of course I do-”

“That this house is meant to be hidden?”

“Yes, but-”

“That you are a _child_ under _my_ protection, whether you want that or not?”

“I'm not bloody daft-”

“You could've fooled me!” Sirius finally thundered, slamming his hands on the table. “You deliberately put yourself in danger, Karina! What were you thinking, going out in the middle of the night, skulking around?”

“I wasn't in danger!” She roared back, bracing her hands on the table he had just slammed. “I'm not a fucking child like the lot of you think I am, I can take care of myself-”

“Death Eaters! The Dark Lord! Muggers and rapists if the first two weren't enough for you! You're a bloody fifteen year old girl, you twa-”

“Sirius!” Remus snapped dangerously.

Kari was shaking with anger. “I will _not_ be lectured by the likes of you, Sirius Black. You were an immature teenager, an irresponsible husband and you have _not_ been my father. You don't have the _right_ to yell at me so.”

“I have _every bloody right_ ,” snarled Sirius as he bared his teeth at her. “You are my daughter-”

“Then act like my father!” Kari cried furiously. “Making me does not give you the right to dictate my life. If I sneak out it's because I will not sit idly by while I let the grown ups take care of it. It wasn't you or Moony or even bloody Dumbledore who saw Voldemort come back. It was Harry. You lot were losing the last war until Harry stopped him-”

“It was luck-”

“It was _love!”_ She felt her voice cracked as she stared at her father. “And it wouldn't save either one of us now.”

It was a well calculated shot. She watched Sirius flinch, heard him mutter a particularly colorful curse before he raked his hands through his hair. “I can't promise to keep you in the loop,” he whispered. “That's Dumbledore's call.”

“Then you can tell Dumbledore that I can't promise I won't go out,” she said simply as she jumped off the stool, motioning to Kreacher. “I won't be kept in the dark.”

“Moonshine…” said Remus softly as he looked at her pleadingly.

Kari shook her head stubbornly. “His call, Moony. I know it's dangerous but I can take care of myself.”

“I will _not_ lose you.” Sirius said it softly, and it it was full of determination and conviction. “I won't allow it.” 

“If you keep me trapped here, you'll make me just as miserable as you were when you stuck here at my age.” Kari felt her heart twist as Sirius shut his eyes, his face dark. “Don't do that to me, Padfoot.”

“Remus-”

“Kari,” Remus said softly, jerking his head upstairs. “Bed now, please and thank you. We’ll talk of this later.”

She nodded once, stiffly, before she walked up into the staircase leading to the bedrooms, Kreacher on her heels. “What-”

“The werewolf came in earlier than he was expected,” said Kreacher bitterly. “He has a nasty habit of saying hello and goodbye to you, Mistress.”

Of course he did. She'd requested it, not knowing when she'd see him next. “And he didn't find me in my bed.”

“He looked everywhere, and could not find you. Because you were not here.”

She heard the accusatory tone in his voice. “Yes, thank you, Kreacher. And he alerted Sirius.”

“He came to my den,” said Kreacher indignantly. “Pounded on my door. And then-” a tremor went through him so violent, Kari paused to kneel down next to him. “He _ordered_ me to tell him where you were, Mistress.”

Kari’s eyes drifted shut. Kreacher may prefer her over Sirius, but it didn't change the fact that he was the Master of this house. Kreacher couldn't have disobeyed an order if he had wanted to. And Kari had a feeling that this was an order that he very much had wanted to disobey. “I'm sorry,” said Kari truthfully, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Truly, I am. I should have never put you in that position. It wasn't fair to you.”

“I live-”

“Kreacher, stop!” Kari cried, frustrated. “I know. _I know you do._ But that doesn't make it right. I will not take advantage of that, or use you. You deserve better than that, whether you want it or not.”

He said nothing.

Kari let out a sigh before walking into her bedroom. She peeled off her wet clothes, heard Kreacher knock (a habit she had been very glad to change. The first time he had stayed in her room while she had started to change there had been a lot of screaming) before entering. Her bed had never looked so good. Kari helped Kreacher pick up her clothes off the floor (despite his protesting) before climbing into bed.

Sleep eluded her. The face of her father as she volleyed painful truths at him was fresh on her mind. Kari prided herself on her words and her power to yield them.

Today… today she had not been proud to use them.


	3. Chapter 3

An Order meeting was going on. Kari had been unable to swipe a moment of Dumbledore's time before he’d stepped in and she couldn't help but feel frustrated. Instead of going upstairs and reading, she found herself in the library off the main meeting room, working on a spell of her own design.

It was tiresome work. Her Animagus training had come to a standstill, she was close, so close she could taste it. And so she didn't mind a small delay, she'd get back into it at Hogwarts.

Instead, she found herself rearranging pillows and buckets around the room before asking Kreacher to tie a blindfold over her eyes. Once he was at a safe distance, she held her wand up and said “ _inveniet_ ”.

A soft burst of energy emitted from her wand. Kari took a deep breath and focused on where it went, tilting her head as she felt a small dead zone to her right. Taking small steps, she moved forward and repeated the spell. She did this several times, eyebrows furrowed as she concentrated on where the object was. Finally, she pushed her foot out and was rewarded with a _thud_ as she hit her mark.

Yanking off the blindfold, the grin on her face vanished as she spotted Alastor Moody leaning on his staff, both hands over the knob of it. A sickening wave of dread rushed through her, and she had to remind herself this was not the man who had violated her mind.

“You're thinking it too,” he said in that gruff voice of his. He let out a grunt at her scowl, before thumping into the room, looking about appreciatively. “I won't do that to you, girl.”

“Kinda hard to remember that when you have his face,” Kari said darkly.

Mad-Eye turned his good eye towards her. “Technically, he had _my_ face. And not a lot I can do to change it, can I?”

She let out a soft laugh, jamming the blindfold in her robe. “No. I suppose you can't just change your face.”

“It's not pretty, I'll grant you that. But it's the only one I've got.” He gave her a gnarled grin before motioning to the bucket. “What are you working on?”

Kari surveyed the room before shrugging. “Spell I've been working on. It's not got very much range, but I figure it'll come in handy. If someone is hiding and I use it, I should be able to spot them magically. Or feel them. That's the theory, really.”

“It'll be different with real people,” he said. “Different auras, I suppose.”

“I know,” she said eagerly, glad to finally have someone to talk spell theory with. “I've been trying with different objects. Different sizes, densities. Just to get the feel of different shapes.”

“Could try it with the house elf,” said Mad-Eye as he peered at her.

Her face hardened. “No. I won't be doing that.”

He shrugged. “I have no doubt he'd be willing to help.”

Her eyes flickered to where Kreacher was watching from the edge of the room, his eyes cast down. He seemed to be waiting for the order. “He's not a test subject or a guinea pig for me to experiment with,” she said softly, not taking her eyes off him. “He's a being worthy of my respect. Just because I'm human and he's not doesn't make him less of person.”

“Your father doesn't seem to think so.”

Kari crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “I'm not my father.”

“So I see,” he said after a beat, thumping his cane on the ground. Kreacher flinched. “It's good work. Solid theory. Like I said, it'll be different in the field.”

She nodded, running her hand through her hair. “I'll adjust. Knowing all the spells in the world doesn't change the fact that in a fight everything changes in an instant. You adapt or you die.”

He let out a chuckle. “That's quite dire, Black.”

“That's war,” she said sweetly. “As everyone is so keen on reminding me. If you don't mind I want to see Dumbledore before he vanishes again.”

She hurried out of the library, heard Kreacher shuffle behind her. As much as she was trying to change his perception of the world, having him as her constant shadow was a bit exhausting. Down at the end of the corridor she saw a familiar figure and she cast a glance at the meeting room, saw people still milling about. Deciding she had enough time, she hurried towards the figure. “Professor Snape,” she breathed, keeping her voice low around the portraits.

Severus Snape turned back to face her, the look mistrust settling on his face. He glanced over her shoulder, no doubt looking for Sirius. “Black.”

“So formal.” She couldn't help the small smirk that tugged at her lips. “I collapsed in your arms a couple weeks ago. Still won't call me Kari?”

“No.”

Rolling her eyes, she asked, “how's it going out there?”

“I am not discussing that with you,” he said simply. Kreacher began to mutter under his breath. Snape looked down at him over his hooked nose. “I see you are settling into your pureblood status easily.”

“I can't help how I was born,” she said with a scowl. “I only hope to better the Black name.”

“You have an uphill battle.”

“Nearly impossible in your eyes, I'm sure.” Kari bit her lip. She glanced at the sleeved arm, wondering if the Dark Mark burned black. Snape felt her gaze and moved his arm behind his back. “Sorry.”

“I don't know why you would be. I imagine that's all you and your friends can talk about. Surely the idea of a Death Eater in your very midst is a tantalizing subject.”

Kari frowned. “It hasn't come up.”

“Really.” Snape drawled dryly.

“Really,” she snapped back. Never in a thousand years could she begin to imagine the life of a Death Eater, purposefully choosing a side filled with death and chaos and oppression.

“And you're not the least bit interested on what being a Death Eater is like.”

“No,” she said and then hesitated. “Let me rephrase: yes. But I won't be asking.”

This seemed to surprise Snape. “And why is that?”

“You don't go around asking ex-convicts what their time in prison is like. I've never asked Sirius what his time in Azkaban was like.”

“I am not a prisoner,” he said softly.

“Aren't you?” She asked with genuine concern. “Dumbledore needs you do to it, there's no one else. That's a life sentence. If you're found out, you'll be killed.”

Snape held her stare. “I suppose it's a good thing I've a very good spy.”

“Let's hope so. It'd be a shame to lose our intel,” she said with a grin.

“Touching.” He turned on his heel and walked out of the house, leaving her with more questions.

“He is a traitor,” said Kreacher angrily.

Kari looked down at Kreacher. “Lucky for us, then. He's finally on the right side.”

“The Dark Lord-”

“Kreacher, he's an awful being who would cut me down without hesitation. He kills innocents.”

“Mudbloods.”

Kari frowned at him. “They're people, Kreacher. If I think you're worthy of respect, you can bet I think Muggles are as well.” When he made a choked noise, she raised an eyebrow. “Have I finally said the thing to drive you away?”

He shot her a very angry look.

“You don't have to stay with me,” she told him gently. “Were bound to disagree constantly. I see the world through very different eyes. Why don't you go and sort through the box we packed up? We can store it off the kitchen, don't you reckon?”

“Mistress does not want me around?”

“ _Kari_ would love to have you around,” she said firmly. “But I have a feeling you're angry with me, and you're entitled to that. I'm giving you the option to take a breather. I'll be around when you're done.”

He seemed to debate this before walking away slowly. She counted to ten and then twenty. Sometimes it felt like dealing with a very angry and racist child. Before he could come back and change his mind, she walked to the meeting room and leaned on the door way. Sirius and Remus were in deep conversation with Dumbledore, who seemed to be listening intently.

No doubt telling him of her midnight escapades. She waited for them to notice her, taking each and every one of their faces. Sirius’ furious scowl, Remus’ concerned eyes and Dumbledore’s pleasant smile. Out of the three, the latter was the one she trusted the least. With Remus and Sirius, their motive was clear: keep her safe and out of harm’s way. Dumbledore was a mystery, one she did not care for the way he played the field. Even knowing they were gearing up for war, she thought perhaps things could be done differently.

“I've come to speak with you,” she said, her voice firm.

Dumbledore nodded slightly. “Of course. It's always a pleasure speaking with you.”

Sirius snorted. Remus frowned at him, motioning for him to follow. She waited until they left the room, closing the door behind them, before she turned back to Dumbledore.

“I don't suppose you'd like a lemon tart?” Dumbledore said as he motioned to the table. “The meetings take so terribly long, and Molly was kind enough to bake them. She's enjoying her time in your kitchen.”

“Sirius’ kitchen, as he's so fond of reminding me that I live under _his_ roof,” she said with an eye roll. “No, thank you. I'm not hungry.”

“Must be dire indeed, if you're refusing food.” He smiled. “What's on your mind, Kari.”

“Harry.” She'd become especially good at reading people in the last couple weeks as they walked out of this very room after a meeting, thoughts and concerns still painted on their faces. Dumbledore was a shut book. “Must we truly wait until his birthday?”

“He is safe there.”

“He's in an abusive household. Surely between all the magical talent in this house we could keep him safer than three Muggles who would sooner turn him into the Dark Lord if it meant saving their hides.”

“That will not be happening.”

Kari raised her eyebrows. “You're quite sure of their conviction? Have you so easily forgotten how they treat him? How they kept him under a cupboard for eleven years? How they gave him the bare minimum food, how he was not given any love or affection? How even now to this day they refuse to acknowledge him as one as their own, and are more than content to have him out of their home? Have you forgotten how the _lied_ to him about his heritage and magic, told him Lily and James died in a car accident because it was more convenient for them, nevermind his feelings? Have you forgotten-”

“I have forgotten,” said Dumbledore in a soft voice, his blue eyes glimmering, “nothing. Harry is safe there. He may not have the love that you had growing up, but it is safe. I can with certainty say that no harm will come to him. He's being watched.”

“We just can't reach out to him, and let him know he's not forgotten,” said Kari. Her words coated were coated with disgust. “He's just as safe as he was during the Tournament, I imagine. We all know how well that turned out.”

Cedric Diggory floated into her mind, and she had to look away. She didn't want Dumbledore to see her weak, not when this was a fight she desperately needed to win.

To his credit, Dumbledore let out a sigh and sadness coated his face. “What happened to Cedric was a terrible tragedy. He will not be forgotten.”

“He was a casualty of war,” she croaked, hating the way her voice broke. “Let's not mince words. He was a necessary catalyst that brought forth something you've known was coming. Didn't you?”

He inclined his head. “I did believe it was a possibility Voldemort would return, yes.”

“I remember,” Kari breathed, remembering Harry’s still body and Quirrell and a mirror that had held a stone so precious it had been worth nearly killing a child. Nearly four years ago, Dumbledore had been truthful about the possibility of Voldemort's return. Four years ago felt like a lifetime.

Dumbledore looked up at the ceiling, as if he too was remembering another very near death, the young girl who was determined to fight for her friend, even back then. “I fear,” he said finally as he looked at her, “that I have always felt that I could always be more open with you than with Harry.”

“I've never understood why,” she admitted.

A small smile tugged at his lips. “Harry walks a very different path than you. Sometimes ignorance is the best defense.”

“Even when that leads to danger?”

“Harry’s life is, unfortunately, marred by danger. Voldemort saw to that when he tried to kill him.”

“So why not give him the tools he needs?”

“Because he is not ready for them. He has gone through so much in his short life and is not nearly finished. The best thing we can do for him is give him support.”

Kari sighed. “But not the truth.”

“He is not ready for it,” he repeated.

Annoyed, she glared at him. “I don't see how that's for you to decide.”

He nodded solemnly. “I don't imagine that you do.”

She realized how patient he was being. He had fought Dark Wizards and was by many accounts one of the most intelligent wizards of their time. And yet, here he was, allowing a fifteen year old girl to interrogate him. She knew she wouldn't have the patience for it. “Alright, I'll lay off for now. I suppose Sirius has informed you that I've been sneaking out?”

“He has.”

When he said nothing else, she cleared her throat. “And?”

“And I informed him that I suspected you would. You do not take lack of information lightly. I remember your mother being the same way.”

Surprised, she rubbed her neck. “You're not going to tell me to stop?”

Something very much like humor splashed across Dumbledore's face. “I'm a wise man, Kari. I realize telling you to stop would only fuel your desire to do so. All I ask is that you exercise discretion. Though I do feel that that is not something I have to emphasize with you, you have always known how to retain information. And, much as I loathe to admit it, a child is easily overlooked. Information flows easily when people are comfortable. And what would do they have to fear of a child?”

“I can't imagine Sirius was thrilled when you wouldn't agree to make me stop or else,” she said with a grimace. It did not escape her attention that even the idea of a child soldier, for all intents and purposes, seemed to not bother him.

There was a game afoot and he meant to win it. It made her skin itch. If he was willing to sacrifice her safety for information, she shuddered to think what lay in store for Harry. “I'll be careful,” she promised. “I won't do anything to compromise us.”

“I never believed you would.” His smile was genuine and and warm. “I, however, should be off. Cheer up, Karina. July isn't truly so far away. He will be so thrilled to see you.”

She said nothing, smiling as she moved out of his way.

If she were Harry and she went through a two month freeze out, she'd be furious.

Sirius’ voice floated from above and she scurried upstairs, dodging him as she moved quietly past the portraits and into the safety of her room.

*

“We need to talk”.

Kari did not wait until they looked up from their breakfast to sit across from her father, Remus at her right. Sirius looked up at her, eyes bored and lifeless.

“It's not yet 8 in the morning, Moonshine.” Remus said with a nervous chuckle. “We have an Order meeting in a few-”

“I know,” she interrupted him as she rubbed her tired eyes sleepily. “It's what we need to talk about. I keep hearing something on my outings. A name.”

Sirius frowned. “I reckon one in particular is very popular right now.”

She turned to face him, eyes narrowed. “It's not Voldemort's.”

Remus reached for the bacon, smiling at Sirius as he motioned for more. “Go on, Kari.”

“Right. Well, I didn't pay much mind to it, the first couple times. It's a ridiculous name, a title, I think.”

“Then why is it so important now?” Sirius asked through a mouthful of bacon.

Kari bit her lip. “I just… the fear that runs through people. I expect them to be fearful of Death Eaters and Voldemort. But I've not heard of them being scared of one in particular. From what I understand, even amongst themselves, Death Eaters don't know who is who.”

Remus looked between Sirius and Kari, brows furrowed before his eyes went wide. “Sirius, can I talk to you for a second-”

“That doesn't explain why it's so important _now_.” Sirius snapped, waving Remus away. “People are going to be scared. They'll tell stories to each other, they'll work each other up. Unless you've heard of one of them killing someone or what their next move of attack is, a name is useless-”

“A name is _not_ useless!” Kari’s cheeks grew red as she glared at her father angrily. “Dumbledore says fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself. And this name is pretty fucking terrifying, if the stories are true-”

“Padfoot, please-”

Sirius shot Remus a scowl, not noticing the way his eyes had widened. “Welcome to war, Kari. The stories you'll hear will make your skin crawl. Humans are the worst types of creatures. If hearing stories will get you spooked, maybe stop going out-”

Kari slammed her hand on the table, making the cups rattle. “I will not stop going out. If there's a chance this person or thing is back, you lot _have_ to let the Order know! It may nothing, it may be something-”

“Kari, if you'll give us a second-”

“What's the bloody name, then?” Sirius said with a sarcastic snarl. “What could possibly have you so worked up-”

“ _Death’s Mistress!”_ Kari roared, standing up and pushing the table back. The atmosphere changed in an instant. Remus groaned, shaking his head as he sunk down in his chair. Sirius froze, all traces of the sneer that had plastered itself on his face gone. Kari looked between them, her ice turning to ice. “It means something, then? This name?”

Sirius blinked at her before shaking his head. “No… no. It… it's not important.”

Narrowing her eyes, she crossed her arms and snapped, “I’m not a bloody idiot. I have ears, and eyes. That name… were they around last time?”

“Yes,” Sirius spat out.

Triumphant, she turned to Remus with a grin. “I heard something of value then?”

“ _No_ ,” snarled Sirius through clenched teeth. “They're not… it's not something we're concerned with this time around.”

Stunned, she sank back in her chair and stared at her father. “That's that then?”

“That's that,” he said in a dangerous tone.

Had she grown up with him, perhaps she'd be more scared of it. Instead she squared her shoulders and asked, “do you know who they were?”

“Yes,” breathed Remus. He had gone white.

Sirius glanced at him, shaking his head.

“She has to know,” Remus murmured as he rubbed his hands together. “Padfoot-”

“ _No!”_ Sirius said angrily. “It's not important now. They're not-”

He choked on whatever he was going to say next. As if unable to sit still, he jumped off the chair and began to pace.

“Who was it?” Kari asked impatiently, looking between the two men. Neither seemed unwilling to speak. “Sirius, if people are scared, if we _know_ something, we have a duty to at least trying to lessen the panic. People are scared, this person is vicious. The stories-"

“Aren't _true!_ ” Sirius roared, turning on his daughter. He looked deranged, just as insane as the picture from Azkaban. “You don't know, you don't _understand_ -”

“Then help me understand!” She cried, reaching for him. When he shook her hand off her hand, she recoiled, looking at Remus helplessly. “Please, if you were out there, you'd hear how scared people are. If there's a small chance, however small, that this… Death’s Mistress is still around-”

“They're not,” whispered Remus.

“But-”

“They're _not.”_ Sirius looked up at her, eyes storming dangerously. “They're dead.”

Kari sank back into her chair with a thud. “But… they're scared. How can they be scared if they're dead?”

“Because old fears return, during war.” Remus reached out to hold her hand. “You don't know this, thankfully. I hate that you have to now, but now you do. People are scared because they know what happened last time. And Death’s Mistress… she was very good at her job.”

Feeling numb, she shook her head. “I… who killed them? Her?”

“Voldemort,” Sirius ground out.

Surprised by the venom in his voice, she raised her eyebrows. “He turned on her? But… that's good, isn't it?”

Sirius let out a growl. “You won't understand.”

“Try me,” she snapped back.

Remus sensed the change in the air, saw the way Sirius narrowed his eyes. “Padfoot,” he said quickly, urgently. “Take a breath, she's your daughter-”

“She wants to know, Moony!” Sirius’ voice was high, laced with bitter laughter. “She feels she's ready for it. The reality of war, the cold truths of humans.”

“I've had to be ready,” she hissed. “Not like you've been around to help me out, have you?”

“Kari!” Remus scold was sharp, squeezing her hand. “That's enough. Let's table this-”

But she was angry, frustrated and tired. “If you know who it is, then tell me! They're dead, what does it matter-”

“Let's take a moment, please, both of you-”

“You think you're ready for this, do you-”

“I wouldn't be up at the crack of dawn talking to you if I wasn't. Who is it-”

“It was your mother!”

Time froze. She heard the words, saw his lips move but her brain refused to understand the words. Sirius’ face was split into a horrible smile, Remus looked sick. She didn't know what she looked like. All she knew was that her stomach turned and turned and turned, and for an instant she feared its contents would end up on the floor.

“You're… you're wrong.” It was the only thing that passed through her numb lips, her mind a jumbled mess. “My mother was a good person, she would _never_ side with the Death Eaters, with _him_ -”

“And yet, she's gone and dead.” Sirius ran his hands through his hair, clutching his head.

Kari looked at Remus, eyes wide and shimmering with tears. “Is it true? Was she Death’s Mistress?”

Remus hesitated before nodding.

“And you _knew!”_ The words exploded from her, the memory of her mother whom she always thought of as a beacon of good in the midst of evil too much for her to handle. “You _both_ knew?! You _knew_ and you didn't tell me? She killed people! Countless people for _him and you didn't bother to tell me?!”_

“It's not like that-”

She cut Remus off with a wordless scream, stumbling as she pushed from the table. “How is it, then? How can you excuse murder? That's what it was! It doesn't matter how you slice it, she killed people, she killed… oh god. Oh…”

Breath rushed out of her and she held onto the table for support, baring her teeth when Remus reached for her. Before they could say anything further, she ran up the stairs, bursting into the hallway and falling. “FUCK!” She screamed, all the hurt and anger packed into that single word.

As if on cue, the portraits of her ancestors flung open and began to screech. She ran past them, choking on tears and screams.

“ _YOU! SPOILED FRUIT OF THE TREE! UNFORGIVABLE! SHAME OF MY SHAME! GET OUT, GET OUT-”_

 _“SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP YOU HORRIBLE OLD HAG!”_ Kari shouted, pounding on the portrait of her grandmother with her fists and finding no satisfaction in it.

“Mistress-!”

She whirled, eyes wild and breathing heavily. Kreacher flinched, waiting for a blow.

Unable to face him, to calm herself, she rushed to the door. It flung open as she reached it and she fell back. Behind her, she could hear voices from above, worried and concerned.

She looked up at the figure blocking her way out, and blinked up at Snape. “YOU.”

“Black-”

“DID YOU KNOW?” She demanded as she scrambled upright, her chest heaving up and down.

Snape raised his eyebrow. “I know many things. What in particular are you accusing me of?”

“My _mother_ , you bloody fool.” She spat, her head aching as the sound of the portraits roared behind her. “You must've known, what with your knowledge and being a part of their stupid group. Did you KNOW?”

Colour drained from his face. “What-”

“DID YOU KNOW SHE WAS A DEATH EATER?” Her throat felt raw, her eyes burned as tears poured freely. At the look of surprise on his face, she let out a hysterical laugh and pushed him out of the way. “Of course you knew, of _course._ Did you enjoy having a grand laugh at me, telling me all the good things all the while knowing she was rotten, awful, a _murderer?_ ”

“Stop, stop. Karina-”

“STAY AWAY FROM ME!” She shrieked as she ran out the door, into the early morning. She ran, her feet pounding into the ground heavily as she pushed her body beyond its capability. At one point, while tears blurred her vision, she stumbled and felt her body shift. Magic coursed through her and she watched in amazement as her hands became paws, white fur sprouting. She fell, rolling onto the ground as her body convulsed with the change in form.

It passed in an instant. Once she came to a full stop, she was back in her human form, bruised and hurt. Shaking her head, she kept on running.

She knew that no matter how much she ran, she'd never run fast or far enough to outrun the truth of this awful truth.


	4. Chapter 4

While Kari ran and ran and ran, the scene at Number 12 Grimmauld Place was _chaos_. Several Weasleys had descended the stairs and were helping Kreacher close the curtains over the portraits, ignoring his cursing to get their dirty hands off them.

They called out to each other, not noticing that Snape was marching down the stairs to the kitchen, where the raised voices of Sirius and Remus were heard all the way upstairs.

George looked at the door, hesitating. He wanted to go after her, the rawness in her voice had cut him deep. But because he knew Kari, he didn't follow her, not when he knew she needed to be alone. Instead he pulled away from his family and followed Snape down the stairs.

“ _Y_ _ou told her?_ Have you lost your mind? She's merely a child-”

Sirius rounded on Snape, eyes dancing dangerously. “Stay out of this, Snivellus. She is none of your concern.”

Snape narrowed his eyes. “On the contrary. She may be your daughter, but you forget that her mother asked me to look after her on her deathbed. I've managed, until you came along. How did this happen?”

Before Sirius could snarl a curse at Snape, Remus shot him a look angrily before snapping, “she's being going out at night and heard the name Death’s Mistress. You recall the panic that name once brought. It seems people aren't aware she's no longer a threat. Kari wanted information and things… things got heated.”

Both men looked at Sirius.

He threw his hands up in the air. “She wanted the truth!”

“ _She is a child!_ ” Snape hissed, baring his teeth. “Have you no common sense? I realize you're going mad staying indoors but to get off delivering a blow to your daughter is low, even for you.”

“Don't lecture _me_ , traitor.” Sirius growled.

“Sirius, enough! I can't believe I'm about to say this but I agree with Severus. This could've been handled much differently, much better. You hurt her today, we knew the day would come that she'd find out that Tori wasn't the saint she thought she was but there was a way to ease her in, and we blew it.”

“You don't have to throw yourself in with his lot, Lupin,” Snape said with a look of disgust on his face. “This failure is his, and his alone.”  

Sirius looked between them, hands clenched. “So we’re to coddle her, then? She seems to think she's capable of going out and hearing secrets she's not meant to hear-”

“You imbecile. I cannot believe _you're_ all she has left.” Snape spat. “She can handle a great many things, but this is different. This is her mother, the memory of a woman she doesn't know but believed good torn to shreds in a matter of seconds by her _father_. If you can't see how damaging that is, then you have no business being in her life.”

“Where is she?” Remus asked sharply, turning to face away from Sirius.

Snape rubbed his face. “Gone. She ran into me as I made my way in, demanded to know if I knew. Do you understand what you've done? You've not only shattered the memory of her mother but the trust she had in us, all of us. You failed to regard how this would affect not just you, but then again I'm not surprised by that. You've always been selfish, you idio-”

“Shouldn't we go after her?” George said loudly. He was hovering by the stairs, unnoticed by the men in the room. Now they all turned their attention to him, and he felt the energy roll towards him. “I can go-”

“It's too dangerous,” Remus cut him off, shaking his head. “We have to think of the Order, we need to think of a plan-”

“Bullocks. She's out there alone and angry, I'm betting she doesn't have her wand.” Sirius, for the first time, looked worried. “I'll go-”

“Touching. Now he worries. In case you've forgotten, there's a reason that Dumbledore doesn't want you to leave this house. That hasn't changed, just because you've made a mistake. I'll go-”

“She's my daughter-”

“You should've thought of that before-”

“Silence!” A new voice bellowed the command. George watched Dumbledore descend the stairs, his eyes shimmering dangerously as he took in the room. It was the most frightening he'd ever seen him, which was impressive considering how many school toilets he'd blown up over the course of their school years. “Explain. Now.”

The three men launched into their stories all at once, three voices getting louder and angrier the more they went on.

Dumbledore held up his hand, silencing him again. He looked over his shoulder, at the figure at the top of the stairs. “Go. Find her.”

“On it.”

He turned back to the men. “I'm not sure what pushed this unfortunate event, but it cannot happen again. Kari is bright, and can handle many things. She'll recover from the shock of her mother being human, just like the rest of us. _However,_ I will not tolerate this sort of deliberate wound. She deserves the truth, and for it to be told in a manner that won't scar her. I will take care of this. Afterwards, I expect that you each explain yourselves to her. Kindly. She deserves nothing less, she did not choose this. Am I understood?”

Snape jerked his head once before turning on his heel and heading upstairs. Remus swallowed past the lump in his throat and muttered, “of course.”

Sirius looked at his hands. “I… yes. I'm sorry. I don't know how to handle her.”

“It's not me that needs the apology.” Dumbledore's tone was still brisk and curt. “I suggest you learn, Sirius. She is your daughter and you are all she has left. This may be hard on you, but you cannot make yourself feel better by hurting her. She will be back in one week. Remus, you'll retrieve her. You know where you'll need to go.”

“Where are you taking her?” Sirius asked quickly, panic lacing his words.

Dumbledore shook his head. “I cannot tell you. She will be safe.”

“Does she truly have to go?” George asked, his stomach dropping.

“I believe a little time and distance will help ease this,” said Dumbledore as he turned to George. “Would you go pack a bag for her?”

George jerked his head, placing his hand on the staircase but hesitated as he thought of Kari’s words. “It's true then? Her mother was a Death Eater?”

“Yes… and no,” said Dumbledore softly as Sirius walked to a chair and sunk into it, his hands clutching his head. “Victoria was a great many things - good and bad. And that is all I will say in the matter. Her bag, please, George.”

It was a dismissal, clear as day. He hurried up the stairs, knowing that it was not the end of a lecture for Sirius.

*

She'd come across a pond, in a small park, with a bench by the edge of it. It was peaceful and she was cold, so she had settled herself on it and then lost track of time.

Her mother was a Death Eater.

Back when she learned of her family, of Sirius’ relatives, she knew there were some of them among them. Kari remembered being ashamed for a second before deciding there was nothing she could do about it, and after all, they weren't immediate family. Someday, she had thought, she would be able to shake her head in disappointment and say “well, they're not close family.”

A mother was as close as you could get to a daughter. Whenever she closed her eyes she saw her mother's smile, her sparkling blue eyes, the dimples in her cheeks. All this time she had gazed down at pictures of a woman she never really knew but had imagined was a good person, despite the horrors of war.

It occurred to her that she had never really asked how her mother had died. She had been told that she had died in a war among wizards, keeping her safe. Kari had never probed that story, had deemed it a noble way to die.

Now she wasn't sure of the truth behind it. Had she been killed by someone on the right side? Perhaps someone in the Order had taken the killing blow. Could it have been someone trying to protect themselves, cutting her life short in the process? Or had Sirius been telling the truth, had Voldemort truly done her in?

If her mother was a bona fide Death Eater, could she truly feel sorrow at her death?

It wasn't her death she mourned. It was the memory of a woman she looked up to. A mother who had come to her in times of need in her dreams, a woman she had hugged while she dreamt.

The sound of footsteps on wet leaves reached her ears, and she heaved a sigh. “How did you find me?”

“I tracked Dark Wizards for a living, girl.” Mad-Eye said with a snort as he hobbled his way towards her. “Finding you was child's play.”

She didn't turn to look at him, kept her eyes trained on the water. What she wouldn't give to have her thoughts be as calm as it was. “Did you know her?”

He didn't need to ask who she was referring to. “Yes.”

“Did you kill her?”

“He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named saw to that,” he said. “You can only stay on top for so long, I suppose.”

At that, she turned her red-rimmed eyes towards him. “She was one of his most loyal followers then?”

“She was a complex person,” he shrugged. “And it's not for me to tell you more beyond that. Come. Dumbledore is waiting.”

He would have known about her mother, she realized with dizzying anger. How many more would know about Victoria Lowry-Black, who else had the power to cut her down? “I don't want to go back.”

“Reckon you'll just stay out here then? Run away? I didn't peg you for a coward.”

She shot him a glare. “I just… need a moment, alright? It's been a shit morning.”

He didn't have a reply and for that she was thankful. Kari cast her eyes upward, wondering how she could have ever been so blind to the truth. It made sense that no mention of her mother was made in the history books - a Death Eater was invisible, their masks saw to that, gave them anonymity to carry out their heinous crimes. And if her mother had been a top lieutenant, her identity would have been hidden with the utmost care.

Had Sirius known the whole time that she led a double life? How could he have been alright with it, how could he have separated the woman he had loved from the woman who murdered people for someone else?

“Let's go,” she said through clenched teeth. A dull ache pounded between her eyes, and her stomach churned.

She'd have to face her father. Remus. Snape.

Men she had trusted and been lied by.

The walk back to Grimmauld Place took longer than she expected. She had not realized that she had run so far in such a short amount of time. Once they reached the street, she spotted Dumbledore standing at the end of it, gazing up at the sky as if lost in thought. The small bag by his feet did not escape her notice.

“Am I being sent away then?” She asked as she reached him, clenching her jaw.

He smiled at her. “I merely thought some time away would help. Your family misses you.”

Kari’s heart soared. “I'm going home?”

“If you wish. I can take you there myself.”

She cast a glance at Grimmauld Place, knowing she couldn't step inside it, not yet. “Please,” she breathed, feeling lighter as she thought of her family.

Dumbledore nodded at Mad-Eye, who shook his head. “That's a long journey, Dumbledore.”

“She'll need to rest up for a day or two afterwards,” he said softly, his brows furrowing. “We don't have the luxury of conventional transportation. She can't be away for too long.”

“Why?” Kari raised her eyebrows. “I don't understand why I can't stay with them until the start of term.”

“Because there's a war going on,” said Mad-Eye, fixing his good eye at her. “And I don't peg you for a coward.”

“You don't have the sort of protection Harry does, we don't have the resources to stretch them out that far,” said Dumbledore smoothly. “Should the wrong people get a wind of where you are, they could come for you.”

“My family-”

“Will be safe. But not for too long, if you're there.”

A part of her wanted to tell him to forget it, she wouldn't place them in any sort of danger. But a bigger part of her, the bruised heart and shattered spirit, had her cave and she nodded meekly.

“It won't be pleasant,” Dumbledore warned as he gestured his arm. “Travel through apparition is not meant to be done with this much of a distance. I can do it, and won't feel the effects of it too much but I'm afraid you will. You will need to rest once we get there.”

The thought of curling up in bed, not sneaking out and risking her life, feeling like she needed to because she needed to do something useful was appealing. “I'm ready,” she said.

Mad-Eye stepped back, glancing about the street. Kari looked up at Grimmauld Place one last time as the odd sensation of magical travel coursed through her body.

The last thing she saw as the world swirled around her was the curtains of the upstairs window move, as if someone had been watching her as she left.

*

She spent the first two days back home in a cocoon of warm blankets, drifting in and out of slumber so deep she wondered if she'd ever truly wake up. Kari had never felt so weary and drained as she had when the ground beneath her feet became solid and she had looked up to see the farmhouse she had grown up in, the endless blue sky that she had run under as a child.

Relief was quickly replaced by a drowsiness that she had underestimated and she barely remembered making the walk up to the house, seeing her parents concerned faces and then climbing into bed.

Now she woke, her mind slowly coming to as she forced her eyes open and looked about the room. It was dark outside, could see the night sky from her window as the curtain fluttered from the warm summer air.

Even bed ridden, she felt safe here, innocent. Her childhood bedroom was due for a makeover, she realized as she gazed about the teddy bears and music boxes strewn about the table. She knew she wouldn't touch it, couldn't touch it. To surrender this part of herself would mean to admit that she was no longer a child, and no matter how much she reminded the grown ups of this, she desperately wished she wasn't right.

She glanced up at the ceiling, at the canopy-less bed and up at the glow in the dark stars she had put up with her father as a child. They dimmed a little less brightly now, but the memory of it was enough to pull a smile from her.

A shadow stirred. Kari grabbed for her wand under her pillow, cursing when she came up empty. Feeling a little foolish, she reached for the lamp next to her bed and blinked as the burst of sudden light hurt her eyes. “Dad?”

Keith Moore stirred from the chair across from the bed, coming to with a sleepy “what's that now?” He rubbed his eyes wearily. Yawning widely, he glanced at the watch on his arm before saying, “hello, Mouse. Feeling better?”

Kari grinned. “No. But I suppose that's to be expected after traveling an obscene amount of distance by magic.”

“Dumbledore mentioned that.” His face flashed darkly as he said that. “He couldn't explain why you had to travel that way, I could've come to get you.”

Kari glanced down at her hands, frowning. “He… he didn't tell you?”

“He said very little. Only that Remus would be by in a week to grab you. You know, I think I've been remarkably easy going about letting my only daughter be off on her own for most of the year.”

“Dad-”

“Let me finish,” said Keith darkly, standing. He rubbed his neck as he began to pace. “We knew you were on loan, _I_ knew you were not mine to keep. Hell, I suppose every parent knows that about their child. Your mother cried every night for a month after you left. You were eleven.”

“I know-”

He silenced her with a look. “Even then, I told myself it was for the best. Every year you came back with new stories, new dangers and I told myself it was better that you were there, learning to protect yourself from things I could never shield you from. I never once complained or protested, even when you came back and told me the man you'd hated all your life was not the man you thought him to be.”

Kari opened her mouth to say something but thought better of it. She'd never seen her father like this, energy bouncing off him as he continued his march about the room.

“We didn't get you for Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter. The summers were meant to be ours, and yet every summer it seems that gets shorter and shorter. And before now, they at least had the courtesy to _ask_ if it was alright to borrow you for a couple of weeks before the start of term. A couple of weeks that were meant to be ours. I've never denied you, I see how your face lights up in that world. You were born to be there.”

“And now?” She finally asked.

“ _Now_ ,” Keith sighed. “Now they come to our home to tell me that you will be here for a week before you're whisked away, again. I raised you, I've loved you, I worry about you every night. And now I have to be content for a week, one single week, before you're gone from my life for another year.”

He stopped pacing, his throat working furiously.

Kari’s eyes shimmered. _This_ was the love of father: unconditional love, love that hurt so much and yet unable to do anything but allow it to go where it may. Feeling it, she closed her eyes and soaked it in before saying, “think of the worst possible human alive, someone who strikes fear in a population and has a following that for no understandable reason throws their lot in with them.”

“I can think of a few people throughout history that fit the bill,” said Keith slowly.

She nodded slowly. “Now throw magic into the mix. If you think I have a talent for finding trouble, this person creates it. They thrive off pain and horror. They purposely create havoc and murder innocents. His followers are just as bad.”

“There is someone like that, now, in your world?”

Swallowing past the clump in her throat, she nodded. “Yes. He's back. He never went away. He's the dark wizard from the last war.”

“Vondermorg.”

“Close,” Kari said with a chuckle. “Voldemort.”

“That's what I said,” he said with a grin. “You're safer there then.”

“And so are you,” she told him sadly. The very thought of her family in danger brought panic to her belly. “It's bad enough that I'm close with Harry - the person who… I don't know, didn't kill him as a baby, I guess. But, I just recently found out, my mother was one of his followers. And he killed her.”

Keith stared at her, stunned. “Tori?”

“The very same,” she chirped in what she hoped was a cherry tone and knowing it was much too dark and bitter to be.

“I… I don't understand-”

“Join the club.”

“Tori was _good._ She was a good person, she died to protect you.” Keith said as he shook his head

Kari pushed up on the pillows, looking at him intently. “Dad, who told you that? Where did you hear that from?”

“Remus,” he said quickly, frowning. “Dumbledore sent the first letter, and said your mother had passed. That Remus would be the to explain, along with you. I… I never questioned it, we were just ecstatic to have you in our lives.”

Sighing, she leaned back and glanced at the ceiling again. “Well… I don't know if it's true or not. I imagine it could be, maybe she found her moral compass late.”

“There has to be some misunderstanding,” insisted Keith stubbornly. “The Tori I knew wouldn't have hurt anyone.”

Kari said nothing, wishing she could believe him.

*

A week was not enough, would never be enough, to soak up the love she desperately missed. But there was a knock on the door and she knew her time was up.

Keith and his wife looked up at each other, and then at Kari. She was busy focusing on the infant boy, their son, the one they had wished for before she had come along. He knew no fear, no danger… and if she stayed, she'd bring it into his life.

“Let's get this over with,” she murmured as she stood, swinging her bag over her shoulder. Keith walked in front of her, with Deidre close at their heels.

“Hello,” said Remus as the door swung open. He looked exhausted and sick. “It's lovely to see you again.”

“Let's go,” said Kari as she jerked her head at him, eyes flashing. She gave her mother a hug, suddenly grateful for a woman in her life who hadn't killed someone. Turning to her father, she allowed him to grab her into a bear hug, murmuring his love for her before letting go.

Remus had glanced away, looking anywhere but this at this very personal and emotional goodbye. She bounded down the steps towards the dirt road, not looking back.  

“We’re not travelling by magic,” he said finally, as they continued to walk. “I… I don't have it in me just now.”

“That's fine,” she replied curtly.

He let out a sigh. “Moonshine, I'm sorry-”

“Why?” Kari snarled as she spun to face him. “Why specifically are you sorry?”

He blinked at her. Remus smiled sadly at her. “Where to begin? I'm sorry for taking the easy way out and hoping you'd never find out. I'm sorry for the way you found out, for keeping it from you. I'm sorry for letting you down.”

“I trusted you,” she said angrily.

“And I'm sorry you don't anymore,” he said softly, the pain in his voice palpable. “If there's anything I regret the most, it's creating a situation that makes you feel like you can't.”

“I suppose that if I ask about her, you'll tell me to talk to Sirius.” Kari rolled her eyes when she saw him hesitate.

“He… he has more insight into what happened. And I truly believe he needs to talk about it. He's held it in for so long.”

“Fine.” Kari continued to walk, jaw clenched tight. “I'll talk to him about this. I need to know the truth."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Harry's Birthday! Thank you to HGRHfan35 for nudging me towards posting today!


	5. Chapter 5

Sirius was, to his credit, waiting for her when she arrived. Remus glanced between the two of them before looking at his watch. “It's past midnight, Padfoot. She needs to sleep.”

“I know,” he said gruffly as he pulled her into a hug, ignoring her yelp. “I've missed her. I have something for her.”

With that, he shoved a vial in her hand and a crumpled note in the other. Elegant scrawl bore her name in the front. Remus flinched. “It's late-”

“I've kept it from her for too long,” Sirius insisted as he lifted Kari’s chin, meeting his eyes to hers. “Your mum, as she was passing, left you that note.”

“What's this then?” She asked as she shook the vial.

Sirius’ throat worked furiously. “Her memories. One memory, actually. When… when she passed, right before. When he killed her.”

Kari’s eyes widened as she looked down at the vial, silver strands shimmering within. “She… she left it for me?”

“This was never going to be an easy thing to tell you,” he said softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “She had hoped this would help.”

How could someone who had taken lives cared so much to leave her a piece of herself? “Can I see it?” The question felt so heavy on her tongue, her mind buzzing. “I know it's late but…”

“I have a pensive waiting for us in the library,” said Sirius quickly. “I reckoned you'd want to see it.”

Turning back to Remus, she bid him goodnight with a kiss on his cheek before following her father down the corridor. The house was quiet. “Where's Kreacher?”

“In his den, more than likely. He's been insufferable since you've been gone.”

They entered her favourite room in this awful house, and Kari walked over to the table anxiously before remembering the note in her hand. She unfolded it, taking her in mother’s long scrawl, imagining her writing it down furiously before her life ended.

_My dearest Kari,_

_I hate to say this, but if you're reading this, then I am gone. How terribly cliche. No magical cure was brewed for me, no last miracle spell… no. I am surrounded by those whom I have loved most fiercely in my life, those for whom I did unspeakable things in order to keep them safe._

_I wish I could say I did it for the world, but bugger the world. I am selfish, and I would not have done it for them. But the thought of my closest friends, my husband, my daughter falling victims to this bloody war was more than I could bear._

_It had to be me. I was always calculating and distant and very good with magic. While Sirius never applied himself, I did and in turn that caught the attention of those who would use it for the wrong reasons._

_And with that, an opportunity arose. I did it and I did it well. Too well. The Dark Lord believed I was his top lieutenant, and I suppose in a way I was. I can tell myself it was a good cause but can that alone wash away the endless lives I took?_

_I suppose I will know soon enough._

_My sweet Kari, I beg you to consider all possibilities, no matter how awful and hard they may be. I pray you never have to make the choices I did, that this war will never touch you, but if it does, be ready. Be strong. Be better than me._

_I love you, more than life itself._

_Mum_

Kari blinked back tears, sniffling. “He _believed_ she was his top lieutenant?”

“She was approached by Dumbledore before we even left Hogwarts,” said Sirius. He looked up at the ceiling, as if to recall it all better. “Tori was… brilliant. There was no other way to describe her. But, as it it was back then, coming from a certain family, things were expected of you. Such as falling in line with You-Know-Who. She fought it for a time, and paid for it dearly. Dumbledore was the one to see that she could use what she hated most about herself to her advantage, to our advantage. And so she did. She joined the Death Eaters, and risked her life every day to give us intel.”

“They found her out then?” Kari asked, her voice thick.

Sirius laughed humorlessly. “No. No.... You'll see.”

Kari let out a steadying breath before dumping the contents of the vial in the bowl-like pensive. She watched as it hit the surface, rippling as it spread. Shooting Sirius a glance, she moved her head forward and gasped as she landed in the past.

Her mother was just ahead.

 _Trying desperately to keep her arms from shaking too badly, Tori walked through the dark hallways of the Malfoy mansion, quietly shushing Kari as she avoided the stares of the Death Eaters around her._ _  
_ _  
_ _The baby girl squirmed and grunted in her arms; it was late for her. Tori also reminded herself that she hadn’t gotten her mid-evening snack either._ _  
_ _  
_ _The Dark Lord had summoned her, and told her to bring Kari as well._ _  
_ _  
_ _Tori was terrified. She couldn’t refuse, she couldn’t say no… no one said “no” to Lord Voldemort, not even her, despite his apparent trust in her loyalty. She felt incredibly uneasy about the entire situation. Up until now, The Dark Lord had no idea of her marriage to Sirius, or her association with Dumbledore and The Order. She had told him that she had no idea who Kari’s father was._ _  
_ _  
_ _As far as he knew, she was still in simple terms, his personal assassin. Her loyalty had been proven over and over again. She’d lost count of the faces of the people she killed by his order. Some of them were familiar faces._ _  
_ _  
_ _She lead an impressive double life, but was it possible that he had figured her out?_ _  
_ _  
_ _The hood of her cloak was pulled high on her head, concealing most of her face, and the dark curls that protruded bounced as she walked down the echoing, torch lit hallway. She reached the entrance to the dining room and shifted Kari’s weight onto her chest and shoulder so she could reach up and knock on the heavy ebony doors._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Come.” Snapped a voice she instantly recognized to belong to Bellatrix Lestrange._ _  
_ _  
_ _Her heart raced a bit faster as she pushed the door open. Bellatrix, being related to Sirius had almost caught wind of their marriage on more than one occasion. Tori only prayed that she, like everyone else thought that she had no contact with him, or anyone else she associated with before she dropped out of Hogwarts in her seventh year._ _  
_ _  
_ _“My Lord.” Tori said, curtsying deeply at the head of the ornate black dining table. Kari stirred irritably in her arms when Tori’s hair brushed her face._ _  
_ _  
_ _She glanced around the room._ _  
_ _  
_ _At the head of the table sat Voldemort himself, twirling his long wand between his equally lengthy fingers. Directly to his right, like a hunting dog, waiting to drag a dead animal to its master, stood Bellatrix, and along the long sides of the table, Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy sat._ _  
_ _  
_ _The entire room was plunged in gloom; the fire in the hearth was little more than smoldering coals, and the wrought iron chandelier above the table was turned very low. Tori cast another glance around the room, realizing something was very different than usual._ _  
_ _  
_ _“My Lord, pardon my asking, I know there is a reason you have brought me here, but beg me to ask, where is Severus?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Voldemort turned his attention from his wand-twirling to Tori. She hated his eyes. Those soulless slits were so far from anything human…_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Your dear friend Severus is presently away, doing a task for me. He could not be present tonight, unfortunately.” He stood from his chair, his presence filling the room. In what seemed like only two strides he crossed the huge room to Tori and Kari. “You brought the child.” He breathed, running a hand across Kari’s forehead._ _  
_ _  
_ _“I do as my Lord commands.” Tori said, trying to keep her voice even._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Do you wonder why I asked this of you, Tori?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“No, my Lord, but I trust you as my leader and my master.” She recited._ _  
_ _  
_ _“May I hold her?” He asked suddenly, looking straight into her eyes, with an unwavering, intense gaze._ _  
_ _  
_ _“I would be honoured my Lord.” Tori lied, gently passing Kari to Voldemort._ _  
_ _  
_ _She looked at her face as she transferred her away; the tell-tale signs of a good wail were already beginning to appear. Please Kari…  Tori implored silently, keep quiet. Be a good girl._ _  
_ _  
_ _Amazingly, as if she understood, she calmed down, her face relaxed and she finally settled in one position._ _  
_ _  
_ _“A beautiful child,” Voldemort mused, lifting Kari out in front of him so he could get a look at her. “And you still have no clue as to who her father may be?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Tori looked at the ground and shook her head. “None.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Voldemort made a tutting noise. “Tori, Tori… I’m sure none of us had figured you to be a promiscuous sort of woman.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I did,” piped up Bellatrix._ _  
_ _  
_ _Tori shot her a glare that would melt most metals. “Shut up, frog,” she snapped._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Now, now,” Voldemort said softly. “I won’t have my two favourite ladies fighting on a night like this. This is a very special occasion. Do you want to know why, Tori?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Tori swallowed. Please no…“Why, my Lord?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Because tonight, you are going to sacrifice your daughter to me.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _The world stopped._ _  
_ _  
_ _Her blood turned so cold, it might as well have shattered inside her veins._ _  
_ _  
_ _“My Lord?” She said, her voice incapable of hiding to terror she now felt._ _  
_ _  
_ _“You are truly my servant, are you not?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Yes, my Lord.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“You do ask I ask, when I ask it.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I do.” Tori breathed, unable to control her voice any more._ _  
_ _  
_ _“You will recall a prophecy made, about a child born at the end of July. Fret not, I know your daughter is not that child.” Voldemort explained calmly as Tori's eyes widened. She hated it... absolutely despised it: His calm, stoic, methodical persona terrified her. “I have already been taking measures to ensure that the child named in the prophecy is a non-issue, but I must now ensure that your loyalty is iron clad. I do not wish to find out that you have betrayed me because of a child, simply because you have one yourself, you see. You are a dedicated warrior, but I have seen the way you hesitate when it comes to taking care of some of the.... younger issues.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“My Lord…” Tori whispered. “You must understand… she’s my daughter. I’ve been the most loyal to you. I have fulfilled every order, every whim… can’t you grant me this one thing? You know I will raise her in your ways.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I am unwilling to take that chance.” Voldemort said, his voice high and cold and his eyes narrow. “You will give your daughter to me as a tribute, as a final solid and unwavering gesture of loyalty.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Tori wanted to scream. She wanted to pull out her wand and jinx her way to freedom. Scratch that. She wanted to snap it in half and stab Voldemort with the jagged splinters. She was stupid to have come. Her gut had told her this was a bad idea, but she had no other choice but to do as he said…_ _  
_ _  
_ _“How is she to die, my Lord?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I have left that choice to you, Tori. You are her Mother after all.” He laughed his horrible, cold laugh. “She will die by a wand, or by a most remarkable potion I requested Severus make.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Tori’s mind raced. What options did she have? There was no fighting her way out of this. Not with Kari in her arms, and there was no easy means of escape. Death Eaters swarmed the mansion._ _  
_ _  
_ _Her heart pounded in her chest as she looked at the sweet innocent face of her baby girl. She looked so much like Sirius…_ _  
_ _  
_ _Was it worth the façade anymore?_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Let it be by the poison, my Lord.” She finally said. “I want to give her my goodbyes and stay with her until the end.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Excellent.” Voldemort all but hissed the word._ _  
_ _  
_ _She wanted to kill him._ _  
_ _  
_ _He pulled a vial out of his robes; the liquid contained was a surprisingly pleasant shade of periwinkle._ _  
_ _  
_ _Tori took the vial from his long fingers and looked at Kari again._ _  
_ _  
_ _“My Lord, would it be within my bounds to request that only you and I are present for this?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Voldemort considered the notion for a moment. “I will grant you this. Bella, Lucius, Narcissa. Leave us.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“My Lord!” Bella protested. “I am not leaving you alone with this untrustworthy-“_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Enough!” Voldemort snapped. “Leave us!”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Tori waited for the doors to creak shut before turning her gaze back to the vial of potion in her hand._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Prove your allegiance to me Tori, and I will give you everything you could ever want.” Voldemort ran his spidery fingers down her jaw. She almost vomited._ _  
_ _  
_ _She clenched the vial in her hand and laid Kari on the table, so she could uncork it. Her knuckles turned white and she feared she would crush the glass as she ground her teeth and fought back tears._ _  
_ _  
_ _Her mind was made._ _  
_ _  
_ _It had been made since the Dark Lord summoned her._ _  
_ _  
_ _Tori swallowed and looked up at Voldemort, feeling fierce. She was more than a Death Eater, more than an assassin. She was a mother. And like any mother whose young is threatened, she felt like she had the strength of ten fully grown men. Nothing had ever mattered more than what she was about to say. The old Tori roared to life: The fury, the hatred and the darkness. She was every bit the assassin she had been for Voldemort, only now, he no longer held her leash. She was Death’s Mistress… every bit as terrifying and soulless as she was made out to be._ _  
_ _  
_ _“This is what I decide to do with your request, my Lord.” She sneered, tearing the cork from the vial and downing its contents in one fluid motion. “You stole my life, and my friends, and my very humanity. But you are not going to steal my daughter, and I will never be your possession. Meet my daughter, Karina Black. Her Father is Sirius Black and her Mother is a double-agent in service of The Order of The Phoenix, and I gladly choose death over your piss-poor alternative.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Voldemort shook with rage. “So Dumbledore thinks he has succeeded, has he? Successfully placed a spy in my midst that got away with it for so long?” His voice lowered to a whisper. “No matter, soon you will be dead, and then what so called ‘love’ will protect your child?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“You morons and your blood mania,” Tori snarled. “Will you ever learn, my Lord? No amount of power, no guarantee of immortality is ever equal to the power of human beings united under one single cause. With your magic you can destroy lives and instill fear, but with the power of love, we can move mountains.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Voldemort drew his wand with a roar, but before the killing curse hit her, a huge white dog had taken her place. Snatching the now wailing Kari in her jaws, Tori used her strong animagus form and leapt clear over Voldemort and crashed out the door. The hallway was a battleground. Curses flew at her and Kari from every direction. Paintings fell from the walls and the ground itself seemed to shake, and already the poison was taking its effect. Bellatrix leapt right out in front of her, her arms spread, her mouth forming the words of a curse. With a snarl, Tori planted her paws directly on her chest and drove her into the ground, not stopping for an instant, as she barreled out the front doors, and out into the night._ _  
_ _  
_ _Every_ _thing was already beginning to fade…_   
  
Kari emerged from the basin with a gasp, eyes wide as she turned to Sirius. A sob escaped her and she collapsed into his arms as her anguish coursed through her. “She died because of me,” she whimpered into his chest. “Not just in the war or to protect me, she could've saved herself, she could've-”

“She didn't though,” he said gruffly. “That's the kind of woman your mother was. Yes, she killed countless people. She hated every second of it, worried of what it was doing to her soul. She gave a little prayer after each death, made sure they didn't suffer at her hand. And when she came to that ultimate choice, she made it. Without hesitation. She loved you, fiercely. From the moment she knew of you, while I worried about her safety, she loved you.”

“It doesn't erase all the awful things she did.” Her world kept shifting under her feet, rearranging itself into something she didn't recognize, and she wondered if it'd ever stop. “It doesn't-”

“No,” said Sirius. His eyes danced with sorrow, echoing her pain. “No, it doesn't. And she knew that. She knew she'd never be able to wash that away. We are not made of good or bad, Kari. She was a good woman who did bad things, unspeakable things. Tori was the best of me and the worst, the parts that I could never be. I was never strong enough to take that burden from her.”

“I couldn't do it,” she said weakly. The thought of killing to defend herself was hard enough but to actually do it in a calculated way… she didn't have the stomach for it.

Sirius ran his fingers over her brow. “And you'll never have to. I will never allow that. You've gone through so much already, in no small part because of me. I promise you that if I can spare you further pain, I will.”

Kari swallowed the ball of emotion in her throat. “I'm tired.”

“Of course you are. Go to bed. I'll clean up here.”

She went without protest, all the fight leaving her. Her mind shut down and when she landed in her bed, she fell asleep instantly.

*

“Blimey, how long has she been out now?”

“Three days. Kreacher is the only who's been able to get two words out of her.”

Through semi-closed eyes, she spotted Hermione and Ron looking at her from the foot of her bed. Ron looked as concerned as she'd ever seen him while Hermione had a solemn look on her face.

_It's time to rejoin the living, dearest._

Her mother’s voice brought fury to her throat. _Shut UP,_ she thought viciously. Shifting in her bed slightly, she murmured. “That's not true. Sometimes I even manage to string together a sentence.”

“Kari!” Cried Ron happily as he rushed over. “How are you, mate?”

She forced a smile on her face. “About as well as one can be after finding out dear old Mum was a Death Eater.”

“Sirius says that wasn't the whole story,” Hermione said quickly.

“My, now he's quick to explain, isn't he?” Her mother’s voice still rung in her head, and the thought of Sirius telling everyone the truth when she'd been rushed headlong into it made her stomach twist angrily. She knew he was right, knew there would've never been an easy way to drop that truth bomb on her. “Only took him traumatizing his only daughter. But I suppose he's gotta start somewhere.”

“He feels really awful about it-” Ron began.

Kari sat up, feeling weak. She'd spent a lot of time in bed lately. “You know, I’d believe that from anyone else. Not him though. He's been a prat since I got here, like it any better being stuck here.”

“You were sneaking out.” Hermione couldn't keep the accusation from her voice.

“Only way to get any sort of information, wasn't it? And oh boy, did I hit the jackpot.” She dared either one of them to say anything else, was pleased when they didn't. “Figures though. Maybe my father wasn't the mass murderer I thought he was, my mother was. Turns out I was worried about the wrong parent.”

“Can it be considered mass murder if she did it a person at a time?”

It was a ridiculous enough question from Ron that it brought forth a laugh from Kari. It felt foreign to her ears, completely alien to how she felt.

Hermione saw the surprise on her face, followed by the grief that would not leave her. “It's not your fault, Kari.”

“Of course it isn't.” Kari scowled, picking at a loose strand. “My mother’s murderous decisions weren't mine, I would never make them. I just…”

“What is it?” Ron prodded her arm gently as he sat on the bed.

Kari turned to look at the canopy of the bed, tears welling in her eyes. “It's silly, really. If Harry didn't judge me when I thought Sirius was a mass murderer, I can't imagine he'll have much trouble with a Death Eater for a mother. He's really quite understanding, that one.”

“Is it Harry’s forgiveness you need?” Hermione asked softly. “Or your own?”

It was too raw a question, still too fresh in her mind. The world would never stop being pulled from under her. “She was supposed to be the good one. Even if she was in Slytherin.”

“Kari-”

“I don't want to talk about it anymore.” Her throat refused to work properly. “Please… just leave.”

Hermione looked like she was about to argue but Ron stood and pulled her out of the room with a tug. At the door, he hesitated before he said, “some may have died, yeah. But they gave up their lives so that she could maintain her cover, to continue to gather information so that ultimately good could win.”

“The problem was, it didn't. Not then, and not now. Any good she did is a footnote on all the blood she spilled.” Kari closed her eyes, endless bodies of people she'd never seen flashing before her. “Do you think they would care if they knew? They're still dead, their lives and futures robbed by the scheming between Dumbledore and my mother. Do you think they wouldn't be scared, if they had known, moments before Death’s Mistress cast a spell to end their lives? Dead is dead, Ron. No matter the cause or reason, and she was the cause of it. Better dead than being the one doing _that._ ”

The door shut with a soft _thud_. Kari shut her eyes, her strength leaving her. She wished desperately that tears would come, that she'd be able to sob this sorrow away. Instead she stared straight ahead, eyes burning as tears refused to fall.

*

“The house elf says you've barely eaten.”

Snape’s voice filled her room. Kari blinked slowly, pulling herself from her thoughts as she turned stiffly in her chair. She'd been staring out the window, into a day too sunny for how she felt. She wasn't sure how long she'd sat there, her thoughts echoing in her mind. “I'm going to have to talk with Kreacher.” Her voice was hoarse from lack of use, and she cleared her throat to try to help matters. “He seems to be reporting entirely too much considering he thinks I own him.”

“You can tell yourself anything you want about your mother,” he said as he hovered in the middle of her room awkwardly. “But she was a good person who did terrible things out of necessity.”

“Ah yes,” sarcasm dripped from her words. “Good old killing out of necessity. The best kind of killing.”

“She was good at it,” he continued on as if he hadn't heard her. “And she knew she was. She could detach herself from that reality, could carry out tasks that turned others insane. But she never liked it. Tori… Death’s Mistress was a name they bestowed upon her. A more accurate one would be Angel of Death. Where she could, she tried to make their passing easier, painless. With every death her soul was damaged, it's not something you take lightly.”

“And yet she did it anyways.”

Snape bore his dark eyes into hers as he snarled, “are you just deaf or do you pride yourself on being stupid? Your mother was neither white nor black. Her choices were grey, just as your father’s are and yours. Hers more difficult, ones she hoped you would never have to make. She was chosen because she was the only one who could fool the Dark Lord into believing she was his, when her allegiance was always with Dumbledore.”

“And now you're doing it. Want to follow in my mother’s footsteps, Professor?”

She had meant it cruelly and he knew it. Instead of rising to the bait, he simply raised his shoulders easily and said, “there are worse paths to follow. She saved your life, and countless others. The Dark Lord asked a lot of your mother, and she gave up her humanity to give the Order a fighting chance. But when it came down to giving the ultimate sacrifice, the best part of her shone. And you get to live because of it.”

She had no answer to that. Black, white, grey. The words bounced around in her mind, different images of her mother associated with each other.

Black. Death Eater mask, wand outstretched as green light robbed someone of their life.

White. A fierce woman refusing to give up her last link to humanity, forfeiting her life for that of her daughter.

Grey. A witch doing what she had to, in order to survive.

For as long as she could remember, her mother had been this beacon of good, of light in her life. Now, with black and grey threatening to overwhelm the good it was up to her to piece together the life of a woman she knew nothing about.

“What's in the cauldron?” She asked wearily, not willing to share her thoughts.

Snape looked down at the small cauldron in his hands, as if he had forgotten he was holding it all along. “You must regain your strength. I made you a potion, to help with…”

“Stopping my wallowing?” Kari’s lips quirked into a smile. “You could bottle it up and sell that for a lot of gold. Feel better instantly in a bottle. People would buy it up.”

“It's a simple restorative draught,” he snapped. “You could have made it had you not been mopping about.”

“And miss the chance of seeing you do something _nice_? Never. When have I ever made things easier?”

He let out a disgusted growl. “Drink it. Or do not. It makes no matter to me.”

Her face felt stiff her face split into a grin, watching Snape sweep out of her room in a very dramatic fashion.  She wondered if he knew, had done it on purpose. Doubtful, she knew, as she poured some of the draught into a cup. If there was anything Snape was very good at, it was having the last word and leaving a room in a rather memorable fashion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surely someday soon Harry will appear, right? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Also, I realize that when Harry saw the memories in the Pensive it was from his point of view. I've taken some liberties and written it (if we're being completely honest, my dear friend littleriotact wrote this memory eons ago when we were building this world of ours together, as we so often did back in the day. I'm so terribly excited to finally be able to use it) so that we as the readers get a bit more insight on what Tori was feeling and seeing.


	6. Chapter 6

She woke to yelling. The muffled voice was loud enough to wake her from her fitful sleep, and Kari sat up in her bed, disoriented by the time and day. She could not recall the last time she'd eaten or been around people, and her brain felt foggy from the lack of use. She knew people had come and gone, each more worried than the last.

Part of her wondered if she was broken, why she could not move past this.

The yelling was getting louder. Annoyance prickled at her, and she swung her legs out of bed. Stiff, she rolled her neck and winced at the sharp pain. Her bed had been her prison for the last couple of weeks and she allowed it to atrophy her muscles.

She slipped out of her nightgown and into her day clothes, hastily putting her hair up in a ponytail. The loud voices were coming from one of the bedrooms occupied by her friends when suddenly a much louder voice reached her. Her heart lurched unexpectedly, racing as she recognized the voice as Harry’s.

Every thought left her body as she opened the door. She heard Hermione gasp her name, Ron let out a muttered oath before Harry turned.

“Harry, mate, wait-” Ron said, catching a glimpse of the dark look on Harry’s face.

“AND YOU! WEEKS, KARINA. WEEKS WITHOUT NEWS, WITHOUT HEARING FROM YOU! I COULD BE EXPELLED AND THE ONE PERSON WHO I THOUGHT WOULD MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH TO GET TO ME SOMEHOW WAS NON EXISTENT.”

Kari looked at him calmly. “Sorry about that. I found out my Mum was a Death Eater and I haven't seen much of anyone. You're being expelled?”

It seemed to knock the wind from Harry’s sail. He deflated as he stared at her, no doubt taking in the dark circles under her eyes, the unshowered hair and the way her skin seems pasty from the lack of sunlight. He took a step towards her. “I… yeah. Dementor attack. Cast a Patronus. Ministry didn't like it. Your Mum was a Death Eater?”

She nodded, the motion making her sway. Hermione rose and led her to the bed. Harry followed, sitting next to her. “Seems so. One of his best actually. Double agent for the Order. He wanted her to kill me, to break off ties from a life that could hold her back. She drank the poison meant for me. Why was there a Dementor at Privet Drive?”

“Beats me. Maybe Voldemort wanted to finish me off right quick. Did she go on missions for him? Did she…?”

“Kill a bunch of people? Yeah. Had to keep her cover. Or so they tell me. I don't understand, there's something in the rules that says that you can use magic for life threatening situations. Why would the Ministry try to expel you?”

“Because they don't believe that Voldemort is back,” said Ron, cutting into their back and forth conversation. “They think that Harry made it up for attention.”

“But that's rubbish,” said Kari wearily. “He's the Boy-Who-Lived. There's not a wizard alive who has had more attention than him. Except maybe Voldemort. He was in the Tri-Wizard Tournament for Merlin’s sake.”

Harry reached for her hand, and she felt all the fears she'd had about him hating her melt away. “I'm sorry. This news can't have been easy for you.”  

She lifted her eyes to meet his, saw frustration still lingering but set aside out of concern. Forcing a smile, she shrugged. “I reckon I should be used to bad news by now. Maybe someday. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry I wasn't in the loop and couldn't push to get you here faster. I talked to Dumbledore about it, pushed for it when I first got here but… you know Dumbledore.”

“Yeah,” said Harry, resentment ringing in his voice. “I do. It's alright.”

Ron scoffed. “Sure, she gets off easy. Us, we got yelled at.”

Kari felt her lips quirk into a smile. “Find out your parent is a Death Eater and have your world flipped upside down. That'll make people be nice to you.”

Hermione fussed over her, checking her temperature. “You need a bath. And food. You haven't had a proper meal in days. Your father will be glad to see you up and about. Lupin too.”

“Is that your way of telling me I smell?” Kari said with a laugh. “Both those things sound delightful. I think I'll do that. I'll see you lot downstairs later. You can finish yelling at me then.”

He mumbled something that sounded oddly like _I won’t yell_ but she scoffed, hiding a grin as his eyes flashed again. She made her way back to her room, feeling lighter than she had in weeks. Shutting the door behind her, she hurried to the trunk at the end of her bed and opened it. The album she’d carried around for ages was at the very top and timidly she opened it to the first page.

Her mother grinned up at her, the baby in her arms wiggling. Tori fuzzed over it, the love on her face so clear it hurt to look at.

Grey. It all came back down to grey.

“Kreacher.” She said loudly with a definitive thud of her album.

The _pop_ from behind her signaled a new arrival. “Mistress! You’re up. Can Kreacher get you some food? Fresh clothes? Run you a bath?”

“Yes.” Laughter escaped her, nearly as freeing as the crying she’d done for the last two weeks. “All of those things sound heavenly. I can run my own bath, I like the water nearly scalding. I-“

“Kreacher remembers.” He said stubbornly, making his way to the bathroom off her room.

She very nearly argued with him but instead let out a sigh and undid her greasy hair. It felt so freeing, and soon she was stripping clothes away, wrapping herself into her bathrobe.

Hours later, when she emerged, the layer of filth that had coated her for days was washed away. Her eyes sparkled, her grin was back and she had shoved the memory of her mother at the very back of her mind.

Sirius stood up abruptly as she stepped into the library, knocking over parchments and ink bottles.

“Sirius, for _Merlin’s sake!_ What has gotten into you-“ Molly Weasley cried angrily.

Kari hid her grin behind her hand, clearing her throat.

Molly spun around, and Mr. Weasley stood as well. “Kari!”

“Where is everyone?” She asked as she walked over to the table, eyes skimming the papers that were being hastily put away.

Sirius shot Mrs. Weasley a glare. “Upstairs. Someone deemed them much too young to know what’s going on.”

“How can you argue with me on this, after what happened with your own _daughter_ ? A piece of information set her back weeks, she isn’t _ready_ -"

Kari winced, her head beginning to ring. Suddenly her bed seemed welcoming, a refuge.

Instead of falling into that line of thinking, she crossed her arms and said, “a momentary setback. One that I’ve recovered from. Let me guess - Harry wanted in on the Order?"

“You two are much too alike for my liking,” said the voice of Remus Lupin as he walked into the room. He made his way towards her, kissing her on the head with tenderness only a father figure could. “Hello, moonshine. I see you’re feeling better.”

“Nothing a warm bath and a meal couldn’t fix,” she said with a grin. “He didn’t take _no_ well then?”

“Well, he hasn’t sulked off into the night,” said Sirius with a chuckle. “Not yet, anyways.”

“He won’t,” she said with a sigh. “Not with the threat of an expulsion hearing hanging over his head. So. Fill me in. What have I missed?”

Sirius beckoned her over, motioning at the chair next to him. “We think Voldemort is-"

“Are you _serious_? After what we just talked about-"

“She is my _daughter_. I may be a lousy godfather in your eyes, but she is my flesh and blood. I can decide what information to pass on!”

“Enough!” Kari snapped angrily. “I have not, nor I ever be, content to let information be withheld from me purely because of my age. It worked on Harry, but it will not work on me. So _tell_ me, or I will find out on my own.”

Sirius attempted to disguise the satisfied grin from his face but Mrs. Weasley was not fooled. Remus sighed wearily, but began to speak, obviously to Mrs. Weasley’s displeasure.

*

Her name was said with both shock and relief over the next several days. It was tiresome and a bit irksome - she’d fallen into a hole, nothing else.

“It’s because… well, it’s _you,_ mate.” Ron mumbled through his face mask, coughing at the dust that was springing up around them as they cleaned the room. “We all have our weak moments but you tend to… well, steamroll ahead, really.”

“I’ve never had a moment quite like this before.” Kari gagged at the dust choked her. “Blimey, this is filthy. Kreacher? Where’d he run off to?”

“Probably nicking heirloom bloomers,” said Fred with a snort. “You back then? Not going to bugger off again?”

“Fred!” Said George sharply as he send his twin a glare. “Don’t listen to him. If you’re not feeling up to-"

“I’m _fine,_ ” she insisted as she dug out books from a trunk and began to place them in a box, labeling its contents. “I got knocked on my ass, that’s all.”

George looked like was about to say something, but instead smiled and shook his head. She didn’t have the energy to ask what was on his mind, would have normally teased him.

The afternoon continued without too much excitement. Kreacher appeared at one point - to try to hide some of the things they were clearing and met Harry. He greeted him and everyone in the room with his usual flair of insults until Kari walked into the room with Sirius, and he flung himself on the floor in a ridiculous bow.

“Don’t -" Kari said quickly as a dark look crossed Sirius’ face but it was too late. A quick war of words had begun and she could only shut her eyes, praying for patience. Finally Sirius ordered Kreacher from the room, and Kari followed him out.

“He does not - he cannot-!”

“But he can,” said Kari softly. “He’s the Master of this house, Kreacher.”

“He will wipe out every piece of history, of blood, the ungrateful brat,  oh how my Mistress-“

“And some of it needs to go!” She snapped loudly, breathing heavily. “You have to pick your battles, and some of the things you’re trying to save _are not worth saving._ Do you understand?”

Kreacher eyed her wearily. “They are all important.”

“Very well,” said Kari with an easy shrug. “Then you’re welcome to battle Sirius on every little thing. Or you could help me on saving the things that truly matter. Sirius means to rid this house of _every_ Black momento. Is that what you want?”

He said nothing, eyes shimmering. “No,” he said finally. “Kreacher has served this family for too long to see it all go down because of _him_.”

“Then help me,” Kari said passionately. “I need some of the things here, and reckon I can get away with some of the nicking. I am much less obvious than you.”

He nodded and skulked away. Breathing a sigh of relief, she walked back into the room, ignoring the dark look her father shot at her. She grabbed a sandwich, her appetite not quite returned but wanted to appear normal.

“I hear _you’ve_ been pocketing some things away,” she murmured as she took a seat next to George. Schooling her face to look cold, she turned to face him.

He choked on his food, sputtering a cough. “What-“

“I’ve been out of the loop but I haven’t lost my sight.”

“Listen. I know they’re family heirlooms, but we’re not taking anything for profit. Not like that anyways. We’re more interested in the weird stuff, stuff we can use for our joke shop. If it’s anything important, you can have it back. I nicked a doxie earlier, I didn’t think-" George broke off, looking puzzled. “Why are you grinning?”

Kari chuckled. “Because you rambled on for _much_ longer than I thought you would. I just thought you two were being mischievous. What are you planning for the joke shop?”

“Oh bloody hell.” George groaned as he dragged a hand over his face. “You’ve got a hell of a poker face, Black.”

“Must get that from my Mum then.” The joke slipped out easily, and she watched George tense as if waiting for her to wilt under the realization that she’d made a connection between her and her mother. Instead of making her wilt, Kari tilted her head and was pleasantly surprised that she could _use_ that instead. She was like Sirius, too much like him, in her ability to ‘steamroll ahead’ as Ron had put it. Now, more than ever with war looming at their doorstep, she needed to be able to detach herself and consider all possibilities.

She wasn’t quite at the ‘killing people to maintain cover’ acceptance stage, but it was a step closer than she was five minutes ago.

“There are certain… items that Sirius wants to trash purely because he loathes everything his family represents. I’m not a fan on the way they went on but it is still history. I refuse to let it all be tossed before I can examine it. I’ve been storing stuff away in a box, but I could use another pair of hands.”

“How are you going to get it past Mum? Or Sirius?”

Kari bit her lip. “I… Kreacher. If I can use him as a distraction, I can cast a nondetection spell on a box until I’m ready to come collect it. Just shove it away until I can come get it.”

George lifted his eyebrows. “He’ll do that? You see how Sirius treats him. Not that he doesn’t deserve it, the awful little-“

“This is all he’s ever known,” she said sternly. “If all _you_ ever knew was being threatened, wouldn’t you fight for it?”

“It’s kinda what the Order is doing now, I guess.”

She grinned. “Yes. Except in Kreacher’s case, less evil wizards wanting to murder him.”

“I don’t know about that,” said George as he glanced at Sirius, who was scowling at his food. “I think they’re both tip toeing the line to finish each other off.”

“Kreacher would never hurt Sirius,” she said with what she hoped sounded like confidence. “He’s his Master, whether he likes it or not.”

George did not look convinced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. It's been WAY too long since I posted but real life kicked my ass and it was hard to write a Kari that was going through a rough time, mostly because... well, art imitates life. A million apologies and all my love if you stuck it out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so beyond sorry that this took nearly FIVE MONTHS to update. In my defense, I found out I was pregnant right around the time I last posted. Enjoy!

The morning of Harry’s hearing, Kari found herself staring at the books she’d been reading all night. It was early, much too early for the rest of the house to be up and yet sleep had eluded her. Instead she’d dived into her refuge - knowledge. She researched previous cases of underage magic being used, of it being justified, of these hearing going well.

She’d read the ones that didn’t end as well, of course. Had firmly told herself that Harry wouldn’t find himself in that situation, he had been protecting himself.

But… and this thought made Kari’s stomach turn over unpleasantly, if the Ministry was truly looking for ways to make Harry’s claim of Voldemort returning nothing more than lies for the sake of grandeur, finding him guilty and declaring his story a fabrication to gather attention would be a perfect way to do it.

A part of her thought they’d never do that, that the Ministry was still governed by rules and law.

A louder, more realistic part of her knew that life was not as tidy as rules and laws made it out to seem.

And there was a war going on.

Rolling up the parchment, she tucked it in her coat and walked out of her room, blinking in surprise when she spotted Harry come out of his room. “Hey,” she said breathlessly, taking in his pale skin and the dark circles under his eyes.

“What are you doing up?” He asked hoarsely.

“I couldn’t sleep.” Kari fell into step next to him as they descended the stairs, letting silence envelope them. When they reached the kitchen she was surprised to see that her father was up, along with Tonks and Remus. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were also there, and both smiled kindly at them as they walked in.

Sirius looked up at them, eyes flickered between them with an expression she could not read. She sat opposite him, folding her hands neatly in front of her in an effort to stop her fidgeting.

They peppered Harry with questions while he ate, or tried to, and much too soon it was time for him to leave. He looked at her somewhat frantically.

Kari dug the parchment from her pocket, thrusting it into his hands. “You’ll have time to read this,” she told him as he pulled it open. “It’s cases, instances, where underage magic was permitted. If you can speak for yourself, you’ll need facts and you’ll need to argue.”

“I wish you were going with me,” he said miserably as he looked down at the parchment. “You’re much better at arguing than I am.”

“You’re right about that,” muttered Sirius darkly.

She spared her father an unamused glare before sighing. “Dumbledore didn’t think it would be a good idea if I went. Seemed to think I wouldn’t be able to control my temper, or that I might spill that I know where Sirius is. Dumbledore’s faith in us Blacks runs thin, apparently.”

“You… he spoke with you?”

He sounded so surprised. “Yeah. I ambushed him. Might have something to do with his idea that I can’t control my emotions, I reckon. If I can’t sit by like a good little girl in my own home, what hope do I have out in public?”

“I didn’t even know he was here last night,” mumbled Harry.

Kari shot a dark look at the grown ups before masking her face into sympathy. “He was only here for a bit. I barely got to talk to him - just long enough to be shot down. Hence, me doing research until it feels like my brain is melted. It’s the best I can do.”

“I appreciate it.” Harry nodded at her, hesitating as Mr. Weasley cleared his throat. “I…”

Kari nodded stiffly, trying not to think about a Hogwarts without Harry. She watched him leave, heard the creaking up the stairs and finally the click of the front door.

“He’ll be alright, moonshine.” Remus said softly as Kari stood still.

Sirius smiled at the nickname, memories of years before it all went to hell rushing back to him.

Kari slid into the chair, exhaustion overtaking her. “Here’s something I know is futile in asking. Why won’t Dumbledore talk to Harry?”

Tonks yawned. “I don’t think he’s got much time to talk to anyone lately, little cousin.”

“He talked to me.”

“You bullied him into talking to you,” Sirius corrected. “He all but had one foot out the door when you got to him.”

She rolled her eyes. “I dunno. Just thought that maybe he’d spare a moment for Harry last night. Expulsonary hearing - that’s pretty big for a kid. Especially one who was protecting himself and his idiot cousin.”

“Dumbledore would never let Harry get expelled,” said Mrs. Weasley confidently. “This hearing is just a formality.”

“There wasn’t a hearing when Harry blew up his aunt in the third year,” said Kari slowly. “Why now?”

“Kari,” said Sirius softly as he looked at his daughter expectantly. “Use your head. Why now?”

“Because Fudge doesn’t believe Dumbledore. Or Harry,” she said with a resigned sigh. “If he can use this as a way to knock their credibility down a peg or two, he’ll take the shot. Harry’s education be damned.”

Remus smiled sadly. “Unfortunately, even when Harry is cleared of the charges, there will be some that believe the Ministry over him. He’s just a child, someone they don’t know. The Ministry is there to protect them, has kept the peace for more than a decade.”

“Those who know him won’t believe the Ministry,” said Kari confidently, stifling a yawn. Tonks yawned as well, her eyes droopy.

“Bed,” said Mrs. Weasley after a beat. “The both of you. You’re dead on your feet.”

“I’m fine,” said Kari and Tonks in unison as they yawned hugely.

Sirius chuckled. “If you’re worried that you’ll miss Harry when he gets back, I promise I’ll wake you. Or send Remus. You’ve got hours yet. It’s not even six.”

“I guess,” Kari said, exhaustion seeping through her bones. “You promise you’ll wake me?”

“I solemnly swear,” said Remus and Sirius at the same time.

Kari snorted, laughing, as she hurried to bed.

She got, at most, two hours of sleep before she decided she couldn’t toss and turn any longer. Sliding out of bed with a huge yawn, Kari ran a brush through her mane of brown hair and made her way to the library where she was surprised to find George already there, at one of the tables, writing on some parchment.

“You’re up early,” she said happily as she made her way to him.

He looked up at her, smiling as she slid into the chair next to him. She looked tired, he noted with a bit of concern. Her eyes weren’t sparkling, or laughing, despite the smile on her face. “Writing down some of my brilliant thoughts.”

“For the joke shop,” she said easily with a quick glance down at the writing.

He frowned. “Yes. Mum doesn’t know about it.”

“And she won’t know it from me,” Kari said quickly. She let out a sigh, her eyes flying to the clock above the mantel. “Would you help me take my mind off waiting?”

George perked up. “What did you have in mind?”

“Go Fish?”

He blinked. “Uh… there’s no lake around.”

Kari laughed, reaching for a deck of cards under the pile of books. “Muggle game. Easy enough to teach. I’ll go easy on you.”

“Just teach me,” he said with a grin. “I’ll trounce you in no time.”

Time flew, and Kari knew it wasn’t all the game’s nature. Spending time with George was easy - he didn’t push subjects he could see she was uncomfortable with, made sure she laughed constantly and her thoughts were less dark with him around.

She didn’t worry, she realized with a start. With Harry, she was constantly concerned with his well being. It was an all consuming thought, the very idea of his happiness her only goal.

George was… Kari frowned slightly, pouting as she searched for a word to describe him. The very idea of him brought no expectations, no responsibility. She could be herself, she could speak her mind and fear no repercussion.

That was unfair to Harry, of course. He had never once been upset at her thoughts, and while he disagreed with her, she knew he wouldn’t hold it against her.

And yet… here she was, sitting across from George and feeling lighter than she had in weeks. Ever since she found out about Tori, she was waiting for someone to condemn her for her mother’s actions. She should have known it would never be from George.

Unbeknownst to the teenagers in the room, Sirius watched them from the doorway and wondered, not for the first time, if his daughter was closer to woman than girl. The very idea of any kind of relationship talk terrified him to his bones. It had been Tori who would have been saddled with that talk. He could only imagine that he’d have been roped in, forced to sit in while his wife explained the birds and the bees, making subtle jokes to make him squirm.

He missed her.

And now… now he faced this great unknown on his own. For a brief second he considered getting Remus to do it, before sighing softly. It would have to be him. He knew it would, no matter how much his stomach jumped unpleasantly at the thought.

If nothing else, she seemed happy. Her eyes flickered up every so often, focused on George and grinning when he frowned in concentration. When she wasn’t looking, George would glance up at her, his eyes roaming her face as if absorbing every detail. They seemed happy, and while he wished he could believe that they were both good kids, he had been their age once.

The youthful lust had been strong, and for him it had been Tori who had occupied his thoughts. The very idea that someone saw his daughter in that way set his brows into a scowl. No matter how much he liked George, until his raging hormones calmed down, he would be the enemy. He had only just gotten his daughter back. Losing her so soon was a devastating thought.

A part of him had always thought that perhaps it would have been Harry he had to watch out for. Found that the idea didn’t bother him as much as it did with George. James had, of course, decided that their children would join forces someday. If that produced a Potter-Black child, it would have been a riot to watch McGonagall try to maneuver that particular disaster.

The idea of Kari being with someone hadn’t bothered him when she had been an infant, not when the reality was far, far away. Now that it was here, knocking down his idea that perhaps his daughter would forgo romance all together, he found he would rather face a million detentions than deal with it.

“Look at him. The filthy blood traitor. Thinking he is worthy of the young Mistress. He is a disgrace, he-“

Sirius jerked his head down, instantly furious as Kreacher stood slightly behind him, looking into the room with a look of revulsion. Both Kari and George looked up. Shocked rage coursed through Kari’s face. George on the other hand, had a smile on his face, as if accustomed to Kreacher’s rant and now merely found them entertaining.

“Apologize,” Kari snapped angrily as she slapped the cards on the table. “Now.”

Kreacher quivered as indignation coursed through him. Kari very rarely gave him orders. At most she tried to suggest he act less venomous, but she avoided outright giving him orders. The very idea of owning another living soul weighed on her. “Kreacher is sorry.”

Kari’s face had lost all of her warmth, she looked down at him, disappointment written on her face. “He is a guest, Kreacher. You may think whatever you’d like but I will not accept that kind of slandering in my presence.”

The house elf bowed, his nose all but touching the floor. “Mistress speaks with wisdom. Kreacher will do his best to exhibit the values of the House of Black.”

“Oh, I believe you’re doing so. Admirably. They just happen to be the values my grandparents and distant relatives held. They are no longer welcome in this house. Not while I live.”

“Nor I,” Sirius said at last, narrowing his eyes as Kreacher glared in his direction. “Go away, Kreacher.”

George set down his cards. “You didn’t have to-“

“I did.” Kari snapped as she stared after Kreacher’s retreating figure. She picked up her cards again, a line furrowed between her brows. “I understand he will never think as I do, but I won’t have that filth spewed in my presence. He knows better.”

Her spine was stiff, that air of disapproval still masked her features. She looked like the Blacks of old, Sirius realized with a start. Those haughty features resided on her face, such a contrast to the grin and playful nature that she normally wore instead. Her eyes flickered up to him, cold as steel, waiting for his approval. Sirius shrugged. “I’ve warned you he’s nothing but toxic. Why you continue to shelter him-“

“Because he’s a living thing your parents corrupted,” she snarled. “So here I am, righting the wrongs of my ancestors.”

“You’ll need several millennia for that,” he hissed back with just as much venom. “There’s plenty of evil in this family to go around.”

Kari stood abruptly, and whether she noticed it or not, her wand hand twitched. “You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t understand that the Black name means we’re purists, willing to murder and betray for the sake of keeping bloodlines clean? You don’t think I’ve stared at the bloody tapestry until it feels like a weight I can’t bear. I didn’t choose this!”

“Neither did I!” Sirius roared as he motioned around the room angrily, energy crackling as he did so. “I didn’t want this, I never wanted this! I left as soon as I could and I meant to never come back!”

George glanced up from the cards wearily. “And yet here you are. Here you both are. Wishing things were different won’t change the fact that you’re the last living Blacks. Make something of it, or don’t. But for Merlin’s sake, try to come to grips with the fact that this is the hand that you’ve been dealt with. You can’t change the fact that your blood runs with history that, yes, is dung. But you can make something out of it.”

They looked down at him, as if realizing they weren’t alone. Kari’s face swam with colour. “I… of course. George, I’m sorry-“

“Don’t,” he said quickly as he stood, squeezing her hand softly. “Thank you, for stopping Kreacher. But I do understand he’s just… this house personified.”

Sirius grunted. “It doesn’t make it alright.”

“No,” George agreed with a slight smile. “But if there’s anyone stubborn enough to bend someone’s way of thinking, it’s this one.”

With that he strode from the room, stopping long enough to tousle her hair. Kari let out a slow breath. “I’m not-“

“Save it,” said Sirius darkly as he stalked out of the room. “We’re both terrible at apologizing anyhow.”

She watched her father leave, shutting the door behind him. Unable to contain it, she spun around and released a wave of energy at the bookshelf. A wordless scream was stuck in her throat as the wave hit, sending books scattering.

Breathing heavily, Kari sunk to the floor as she willed the tremor going through her body to calm down. It was not an easy task. Everything she hated about this house was closing in on her, and she was no longer sure if it was the house or the constant proximity to Sirius that she could not stand. Laying her hands on the cool hardwood, she heard the shaking of the floorboards beneath her as uncontrolled energy coursed through her.

Unwilling to harm the house, no matter how angry she was at it, she made her way towards the bookcase and slowly began to clean up the mess she’d created.

Not much later, they found her kneeling in front of the bookcase, surrounded by books and trinkets. Her fingers were tracing a picture, her hair creating a cascading curtain of brown that hid most of her face.

“Kari!” Harry cried happily, bounding over to her as the others followed behind him. “Kari, come on, come back to me.”

She blinked once, then twice before focusing on the shoes in front of her. “Harry,” she breathed as she scrambled to stand. “I… sorry. Reading. History. I…”

“It’s encouraging to know that you do read out of pleasure and not purely to trap information in that mind of yours for school,” said Hermione dryly as she picked up the book that Kari had just been reading.

Kari shot her a dirty look before looking back at Harry. “Well?”

“Cleared,” he said with a grin. “Of all charges. I’m going back to Hogwarts.”

Her knees turned to jelly. Throwing her arms around him, she let out a whoop as he spun her around, Ron and Hermione joining in on the celebration. It was like this that the grown ups found them, a bizarre sight to be sure as they cheered on the near miss of an expulsion sentence.

*  
The first of September was just around the corner and Kari found that for the first time ever, she really and truly could not wait to go back. She’d always been excited about returning of course, but lately the atmosphere in the house was pressing down on her, on her every decision.

Of course it wasn’t the house, it was Sirius. Part of her felt guilty for being unable to control her temper around him, who was obviously going through some sort of breakdown after having spent over a decade in Azkaban. Surely one would lose their manners when being tortured day in and day out.

A different, angrier, part of her felt hatred for the man who had gone and gotten himself locked up and now took his bitterness and regret out on her. It was not her fault that she had free reign to go on about her business. At first she had attempted to at least let her know what she was up to, her ideas, and from time to time even ask permission when she changed something in the house or went out. Each time she was met with a sneer or curled lip, a snarky remark along the lines of “you’ll do what you want anyways” before he stalked off.

And so she began to. She’d come to mostly steady grounds with Kreacher after the incident in the library and she made it a priority to show him kindness, knowing that in a couple days he’d be left in this house with Sirius, both prisoners in different ways. Her trunk was packed, and at the very bottom she built a trap door that she enchanted to fit much, much more. Upon closing the latch at the bottom, a simple spell concealed it with random bits until she and she alone muttered the counter curse.

It was a spell she’d found in one of the books in the house and she’d put that along with several other books and trinkets in there, unwilling to part with knowledge she could use and learn from. Not when she knew that Sirius was on a mission to purge this house of all its history, good and bad.

She was tempted to tell Kreacher to give him hell. She knew even without her blessing, the House elf would do the opposite of what her father requested, pushing the line of obedience as much as he could.

The last day of holidays, as she went through her trunk and rearranged her things for what she felt like the millionth time that afternoon, her bedroom door burst open and a flash of person bolted toward her. Kari scrambled up, slamming the lid down and letting out a yelp as Hermione nearly knocked her down. “I did it. I did it!”

“Congratulations?” Kari asked breathlessly, trying to focus on the item in Hermione’s hand. “What did you do, exactly?”

Hermione let out a squeal as she shoved an envelope in Kari’s hand, twirling about the room. Kari sent her a bemused grin as she tore into the envelope. Prefect. Kari let out a bark of laughter, scanning the letter. “Was there any doubt? Who else?”

“You!” Hermione said forcefully, unable to hide the smile that lit her face. “You’ve been nipping at my heels all these years.”

“I had to make you work for it, didn’t I? Can’t just let you have Prefect.” Kari shook her head goodnaturedly. “Besides, they’d never give it to me. I cause too much trouble and I have a mouth on me.”

“You’re brilliant, absolutely brilliant. It was always either you or me,” insisted Hermione.

Kari crossed the room, placing the envelope in Hermione’s hand and clasping her shoulder. “It was never me. This belonged to you. You’ve worked hard for it, Hermione. Congratulations.”

Tears sprang to her eyes, but Hermione blinked them away furiously before she could shed them. “I’m going to go see… surely Harry-“

“Surely.” Kari said with a smile but something nagged at her. “You go on, I’m right behind you.”

As soon as Hermione has shut the door, Kari ran her hand through her hair. Would Harry get Prefect? As of a couple weeks ago, his return to Hogwarts hadn’t even been a certainty. And it wasn’t like Harry was academically brilliant like Hermione was… no, she did not believe Harry would be guaranteed to be Prefect. But if she had to guess as to who else of the boys? Kari let out a huff of breath, glancing up at the ceiling. It would be Harry, she decided and then her stomach sank.

Would Sirius be proud of him? Or would this be another reminder that this boy who looked like his dead best friend was not James after all? Would he sneer his congratulations, oozing nothing but contempt?

Scowling, she tossed her hair into a ponytail and strode from her room. The door at the end of the hallway shut softly, alerting her that Hermione was back in her room. Odd, if she had been celebrating with Harry. Kari knocked on his door, allowing a couple seconds to go by before she strode in. Harry was sitting on the bed, hands clenched tightly in front of him. His green eyes narrowed when he saw her.

“Come to tell me you’ve been made Prefect too?” He said in a strange voice, as if he was trying to sound normal and had forgotten what that sounded like.

“Yeah, actually.” Kari said easily as she flopped down on the bed across from his. “They figured I’m such an exemplary student and human being, they’d give Hermione the Prefect badge and make me Superior Mother Prefect to win it all. I’m such an example of manners and grace, and my respect for my elders is so well known, they figured they just couldn’t leave me in the dust and had to give me something.”

Harry looked at her a solid second before he began to laugh, clutching his sides. “You’re such a brat.”

“I’ve been told,” she told him with a wink. “What do you reckon, you and me, loser normal people? I can make us badges if you want. I think I still have some Potter Stinks ones from last year, I’m sure I can repurpose them.”

“Brat,” Harry repeated as he threw a pillow her way. “Ron got Prefect.”

At that, her eyebrows shot up. “Really? Ron?” She let out a whistle. “I did not see that one coming. And they say I’m smart.”

“He deserves it,” said Harry defensively and Kari was glad to hear his voice sounded like his own again.

She let out a hum in agreement as the door opened and Ron walked into the room, his face glowing. Kari threw the pillow at him, grinning when he yelped. “Congratulations are in order,” she said as she jumped off the bed.

Ron blushed, his face nearly matching his face. “I thought it’d be Harry.”

“That troublemaker?” Kari said with a snort as she grinned at Harry over her shoulder. “No way. They only give those out to the good kids.”

“No wonder you didn’t get one,” said Harry under his breath.

Kari flipped him off, kissing Ron sloppily on the cheek as she made her exit.

*

Dinner that evening was an affair - laughter and good cheer flowed in a house that desperately needed it. Kari found herself floating from conversations - with Lupin regarding werewolves in the wild, spell theory and creation with Mad-Eye (whom she no longer felt like she needed to avoid) to how metamorphaguses and animagi were similar and how they weren’t with Tonks (avoiding Lupin’s curious stare.)

She avoided conversation with her father where she could, unwilling to spoil this last night home. As people began to trickle into different parts of the house, still carrying on with their discussions, Kari found herself making her way into the back porch of the house, the cool night air a welcome thing after the stuffiness of the house.

She looked up at the moon, giving off such little light that she muttered a spell and dancing lights danced in front of her as she sat on the steps with a thud.

“I hear underage magic is highly frowned upon.”

Kari glanced back and smiled at George. “I suppose with two Prefects in the family, I should be more careful.”

George let out a snort as he sat down next to her, his shoulder touching hers. “I’m just glad it wasn’t you.”

“Oh please. You’d love me either way.”

She meant it to come out light hearted and jokingly. Instead it sounded like a question, one she desperately wished he would answer. One that she knew if he answered, it would be another blow to her defense.

“I would,” he breathed softly.

Neither moved for minutes, unable to cross this bridge together. Kari finally bumped his shoulder playfully as she had done so many times before. “Why does everything feel so different already? I’m not ready for things to change.”

“Sorry, I don’t think we get to control that,” George said with a sigh. “Sure would be nice though.”

They stared at the lights dancing around them, ignoring the way they kept stealing glances at each other when the other wasn’t looking. Kari felt her heart fill with love for this boy who made her feel so safe in a world with so much awfulness. Before she could say anything to embarrass either of them, she stood abruptly. The lights twinkled out, leaving them in darkness. “I… I need to go pack the things your Mum brought back from Diagon Alley,” she said, mortified to find her voice sounded just as alien as Harry’s had earlier.

“Kari-“ George said as he stood up, reaching out to grab her wrist.

She shook it off as if burnt, and ran into the house.

George stared after her, a goofy grin on his face. He was madly in love with this stubborn witch and he knew she was halfway there if she’d just let herself fall.

*

Kari found herself in her room later that night, the thought of George still fresh in her mind. She hummed a tune as she brushed out her long hair, eyes half closed as she remembered the Yule Ball, of being in his arms and her laughter mixed with his.

Her door burst open and Kari let out a long sigh as she set down her brush. “You know, there is such a thing called knocking.”

“Kari.”

Her name was said softly, oddly. She turned slowly, blinking. “Sirius.”

He stood in her doorway, the light from the hallway casting a shadow on his face. Before she could ask what was wrong, he crossed the room and took her into his arms, holding her tightly.

“Sirius,” she gasped, surprised by the embrace. “What’s wrong?”

“Stay safe,” he said gruffly into her hair. “Please, just… stay safe.”

With that he let go, unable to meet her eyes and walked out of her room. Stunned for a moment, she shook her head before walking out after him but he had already gone down the stairs. Instead she found Harry coming up, looking pale and shocked. “What happened?” Kari breathed as she clutched her robe.

Harry blinked at her slowly. He opened his mouth once then twice before clearing it. “Boggart.”

Kari frowned. “The one Moody talked about?”

“Mrs. Weasley tried to get rid of it.”

Even more confused, she tilted her head. “They’re… not aggressive.”

“No,” Harry rubbed his eyes. “She.. uh. The things she fears the most. It’s everyone dead. All of her family.”

The thought of George dead sent a shiver down her spine. “What happened?”

“She couldn’t get rid of it. Lupin took care of it. Mad-Eye and Sirius were there.”

Ah. Kari’s eyes fluttered shut as realization hit her full force. He had seen loved ones on the floor, dead. Knew he was sending his daughter out into the world with danger in every corner.

Be safe, he had said when he had been everything but.

“Are you alright?” She asked Harry hoarsely, forcing herself to be strong for just a bit longer.

He nodded mutely before disappearing into his room. Kari felt her throat close up and she hurried into her room, unwilling to let tears fall until she was safe. When the door closed behind her, she began to sob as she thought of losing anyone of the people in this house at this moment was too much to bear. If they got through this war intact, it would be a miracle.


End file.
